By reframing my negative thoughts, the thoughts that were dragging me down, I started to see that what happened wasn’t all my fault. Yes, I had spent more time waiting for him than was perhaps wise, but I DID get out. His lack of attention wasn’t because of ME but because of his life circumstances. And that, perhaps, I wasn’t such a loser and that another love might be out there for me!
#4 – Be easy on yourself.
I have never, ever met a woman going through a break up who didn’t blame herself for the whole thing. Either her man was happy to put the blame on her or she took it all on herself, unwittingly. Either way blame for the end of a relationship is a heavy load to bear.
Whether you broke up with your guy or he with you, know that you are NOT entirely to blame. There are two people in every relationship and nothing happens in a void. Even if you fooled around on your guy and he broke up with you, something about your relationship with him was struggling or you wouldn’t have fooled around.
So, be easy on yourself. It wasn’t all your fault so don’t let him, or you, carry the load all by yourself. You will be amazed at how much lighter your feelings are if you can truly accept that it that break-up wasn’t all on you.
#5 – Take action.
Once I had processed my feelings and my emotions, I had identified my sadness and the lack of self-esteem that had resulted from the break up, I was able to see my future more clearly and start taking some steps to get on with my life.
The first thing that I was did was I blocked my guy on social media and put every momento of him that I had in a box. My guy, who I did still love, was part of my past and not my future.
I went back on Match and Bumble and started to date. And, yes, it wasn’t much fun at first but it was very distracting.
I made a huge effort to plan doing things. I hiked and went to the movies and had dinner with friends. I went to parties (which I hate) and met new people. I shook up the narrow world that I had created while waiting for my guy to get his shit together. I started to have fun again.
And guess what happened! I met another guy. THE guy. And, because I had done my CBT work and processed my emotions and my feelings and built up my self-esteem, I was ready for him. I was ready to try again. And this time it worked!
So, don’t stay home, waiting for your life to start again. Get out there. Make it happen! You can do it!
If you are struggling to mend a broken heart right now, I am so sorry! I wish that I could just lift that pain off you and let you get on with your life.
Unfortunately, I can’t do that, but YOU can!
While it might seem too painful to confront what you are feeling head on, doing so gives you the best chance of a speedy recovery.
So, identify your feelings, focus on your emotions, reframe your negative thoughts, be easy on yourself and take action.
Take your life back. It’s yours, it’s short and it needs to be lived!!!
If you have made it this far you must have a broken heart that needs to be mended ASAP.
Let me help you, NOW, so that you can get your life back and find love again!
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s get started!