The emotion worry is a prime example of how emotions control sex. When you’re worried, it’s harder to be in the moment. And when your brain is all over the place and focused on potential dangers – it’s harder to get in the mood for sex or enjoy it.
Your brain is your largest sexual organ.
This means it needs to be focused on the things that get you going. If it’s focused on worrying about the kids, how to get a new job, or if your spouse really is enjoying themselves – you’ll probably struggle to enjoy it, too.
However, worry and anxiety don’t always stand in the way of great sex or libido. How much these feelings affect your desire for sex partly depends on your attachment pattern, too. Generally speaking, those with a more anxious-ambivalent style of attachment might find that anxiety actually drives libido, which you can read more about in my blog post on can emotions affect sex drive?.
Happiness and joy are all about connecting, getting close, and sharing enjoyment together. This helps explain why happiness makes for more desire and better sex.
If you’re happy, you’re more likely to be present in the moment, which means more desire and sexual arousal. This, in turn, might mean more orgasms all-round. Plus which, when you’re happy you’re more likely to want to give and receive pleasure which makes you a more generous partner in bed. And a better one.
What this all means if you have sexual difficulties
Because of the link between your emotions and your sexual self – solving sexual problems isn’t necessarily a case of spicing things up or trying new positions. It might be, but it might also be about working with yourself on a deeper level.
Tending to your emotions by:
- Understanding what you’re feeling,
- Understanding their role in your sexuality,
- Understanding the back-and-forth effects of your sexuality and your emotions on one another, is usually a good place to start.
By taking a holistic view of your sexuality and understanding that emotions control sex, and sex also controls your emotions – you’ll be one step closer to the sex life you want and deserve.
Originally published on LeighNoren.com.