For some time now, I have been noticing this constant pressure from my self and others to be happy. I probably get asked this question at least once every couple of days, are you happy? Whether it is, are you happy at your job, are you happy with your partner or are you happy with your current situation?
I have been wondering why we put so much pressure on ourselves, and others to be what we call “happy”. What is being happy? Following my curiosity and train of thought while moving through the feelings I found myself asking a different question. Instead of asking myself if I am happy? I started asking myself, how does happy feel for me? If I am happy, what am I allowing myself to do or not do? What have I done lately that gives me pleasure and joy in a meaningful way?
Happiness is relative, what makes you happy might not make me happy and vice versa. We know this and still go on our day-to-day, acting with others, talking with others and sharing with others as if they’re happy is the same as our happy. No wonder we are constantly in the “pursuit of happiness” we don’t even know what “happiness” is for ourselves. For example, we are bombarded by advertising, books, articles, that happiness is being with someone (it can be a partner, friend, family, others). What if our “happy” is enjoying a quiet meal at home, staying in and relaxing and watching a movie alone. An inner conflict starts arising and we start judging ourselves, for needing sometime alone. That inner judge takes over, and once again we are pressuring ourselves to be in a different state than the one we are in.
In the moment we discover for ourselves what happiness is, and what the feeling of being happy is for each of us; we then can align with people, activities, situations that promote that feeling in us. Yes, it is that easy. Go ahead, try it out. Close your eyes, breath in and out and then bring something into your mind that you think brought you happiness. Just that feeling in itself transports you to another emotional state. Now, think of people that when you are in there presence, there is a similar feeling. Think of a situation that makes you feel like that. Think of an activity that gives you that feeling. You get the point, bring into your awareness of what makes you feel “happy”. Look at what all this people, situations, places, and things have in common. You are allowing yourselves to know what happiness is for you. In my opinion this in itself, is happiness.
Wishing you awareness and clarity,
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