How Do You Know When To Let Go

Holding onto something that you put a lot of work into, grew from or with, and even loved at one point, is one of the hardest things to let go of. So, when it becomes toxic and no longer a positive part of our lives, when does one know that it’s time to let go?

Letting go is different for everyone, no matter the outcome being the same in any situation; so I can’t write this for everyone, but my own personal opinion of when I know it’s the right time to let go and why, goes deep. Being one who holds it all in until I can’t any longer, not letting even the people closest to me see my tears and being intense with all my emotions, is definitely something I have struggled with all my life and continue to do so daily. When I hold something close to me, whether it be love for a person or a possession of an object, it’s never far from front and center in my mind and my heart; but when it becomes an obsession and it starts to overpower my logic and thinking, that’s when the thought of letting go, for my own sanity and well being, starts to stir.

I talk it out to myself, write and get advice and opinions from others about the situation…when every answer, comment or thought is headed down the same path of telling me this is no longer beneficial or helping me in life, that’s when letting go officially starts. For some, I’ve noticed it’s a quick process; breaking up, leaving something behind, trashing it– all just a flick of the wrist or an upturn of the nose in the other direction and done; letting go, moving on and the past is in the past. Yet for others, letting go is the slowest process known to man. I’m one of those others…

A person, while they are still alive, is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to let go of. The feeling of loss, sadness, confusion and hatred all surface and heighten in the most random, horrible, worst timing moments for me and usually stop me in my tracks. Those are the moments of letting go that for anyone, I assume, are the hardest. Knowing it’s the ultimate and final decision and the right timing is crucial; also, just because it feels right at the moment and maybe things will be different if I can make it work a different way is never the answer. As much as I have that urge to get, what I let go of, back, deep down, I know it’s never going to be what I want or need in my life.

Transmitting letting something or someone go from your head to your heart, for it to do the same thing, is a battle in itself. My head is at a constant battle with my heart, trying to make it understand that loving, caring or obsessing over something close to the point of insanity is a red flag and needs to be taken away.

The act of truly letting go, however, is not as easy. The thought of not having that person or object anymore, especially if you put all your passion into it, is almost devastating to fathom; but when it comes to mental health and the thought of how great life can be, in time, without that nagging inside you saying you need that one thing you had to let go, almost feels free and I know it will get better, the more I can and will let go.

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