How A Narcissist Can Derail You

How Narcissist Can Derail You

This is understandable, but it can also be dangerous. This man, though highly successful and charming, ended up abusing her, physically and emotionally, within months of claiming she was the love of his life.

It is important to carefully assess those we allow into our personal space. We must go beyond what looks good on paper, and instead focus on character traits and value systems.

Read: 6 Diversion Tactics Used By Sociopaths, Narcissists and Psychopaths to Manipulate You Into Silence

When you consider getting involved with someone new, you may want to ask yourself the following questions:

  • How does this person treat other people?
  • How do they behave in public?
  • How do they treat their children?
  • Do they display kindness and empathy toward others?
  • Are they judgmental or critical of other people?
  • Are they intolerant of differences in culture, race, religion, or gender?
  • Are they inclusive and tolerant of other people’s opinions and values?
  • Do they always have to be right or win?

Another vital litmus test when becoming involved someone new is to ask yourself, “How do I feel in the presence of this person?” And you have to keep asking yourself this question, particularly when you have become vulnerable or have shared your vulnerable feelings, problems, or personal issues with them.

Over many years of treating and evaluating victims of narcissists, one issue that recurs is the deep shame people feel when they realize they have been duped. But anyone can be duped by a narcissist.

If you are a kind, loving, sensitive person who knows how to love, you can be duped, too. It is difficult to really wrap your head around the fact that some people are not capable of love and empathy.

You can imagine or perhaps know from your own experience, that this is particularly difficult if the narcissist is your parent, partner, friend or someone you deeply admire and love.

Read: 121 Things Narcissists Say When They’re Gaslighting You

Remember: Narcissism is a spectrum disorder. We all have some level of narcissistic traits. But the higher the number of traits, the more problems an individual will represent, and the more damage he or she can cause in a relationship.

The emotional damage cannot be taken lightly., including post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, body image issues, addiction, and other concerns.

Given that any of us can be duped by a narcissist, it is important to be aware of the people in our world, our culture, and our families. Don’t be hard on yourself just because you know how to love: That is a gift. But increased awareness of narcissism may save you from devastating, crippling ramifications.

Written By Dr Karyl McBride, PhD, L.M.F.T.
Printed with Permission
Originally appeared on Psychology Today

How a Narcissist Can Derail You
How A Narcissist Can Derail You
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How A Narcissist Can Derail You
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Karyl Mc Bride PhD, LMFT

Karyl McBride, PhD, LMFT Author of: Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers and Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family. Karyl McBride, Ph.D., L.M.F.T., is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Denver, Colorado with over 28 years in public and private practice. She specializes in treating clients with dysfunctional family issues. For the past seventeen years, Dr. McBride has been involved in private research concerning children of narcissistic parents, with a primary focus on women raised by narcissistic mothers. She has treated many daughters of narcissistic mothers in her private practice.Dr. McBride also has extensive clinical experience in the fields of trauma, sexual abuse, domestic violence, divorce and step family therapy, marital and family therapy, specialized trauma treatment in Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), and individual adjustment issues related to anxiety, depression, and life transitions. Surveys “50 Ways to tell if you are in a Relationship with a Narcissist” Survey: “Do You Have a Narcissistic Parent?” Survey: “Is this your Mom?” Survey:View Author posts