Here are some questions to ask yourself to ensure that hope about what will be doesn’t run away with you:
1. Does your hope have an agenda? When it comes to another person, your hopeful feelings won’t change how they feel?
2. Are you hopeful that that things will proceed magically with this person, without having to do the hard work it takes to build a real and meaningful connection?
3. Is your hope about who they are supposed to be drowning out who they actually are?
4. Do you actually know that the feelings are mutual, or are you so overwhelmed with hope that they are perfect and will be your happily-ever-after, that anything else will be dissatisfying?
5. Are you being realistically hopeful that you can make a relationship work with a real person in the real world, or are you hoping this person you just met that seems “perfect” will BE perfect in every way you could want or need?
In each case, if it’s the latter, you’re in for some pretty significant hope-bubble popping. By being aware of the ways your hopeful feelings are experienced, you are less likely to sabotage a relationship with potential.
Written by Suzanne Lachmann Originally Appeared In Dr. Suzanne Lachmann