7. Your feelings toward each other will change over time (and that’s OK).
When Jessie and I first got together, I blushed every time I saw her. I finally started to understand all the love songs, movies, and ridiculous things I’d seen my friends do for the people they loved. When we got married, people told me that these feelings wouldn’t always be there. I didn’t really believe them. Here’s the thing: I love Jessie more than I ever have, but I don’t blush when I think about her anymore. I don’t get nervous holding her hand or kissing her. Sometimes I get annoyed at her and vice versa.
Don’t rely on feelings to prove that you love something. Commit to it and watch how your behavior drives your emotion to follow.
8. Showing and telling your partner all the things about them you appreciate breathes new life into your relationship.
A few weeks ago, Jessie told me she thought I might have a photographic memory. Ever since I’ve been convinced I do, and my ability to remember things has improved dramatically. Tell the person you love what you love about them and watch that area of their life flourish.
9. Sometimes listening is more helpful than fixing.
Every time Jessie brings up a problem, I’m immediately convinced I have the solution. I am slowly learning that she doesn’t need my genius input on what she’s venting all the time. She just wants me to listen. Guys, trust me. If you’re single or have just entered a relationship, this is a GOLDEN rule.
10. Take time to actively consider what you love about your partner.
Don’t let familiarity stop you from appreciating the person you fell in love with. After a while, when the hormones stabilize, it can be easy to focus on the negative and only mention the things that frustrate you.
Take a couple of minutes each day to think about what you love most about your partner. It’s amazing how quickly our emotions toward a person can shift when we just give them a little nudge.
11. Don’t joke about “that time of the month.”
It’s never funny. Period.
12. Your wedding won’t be the best day of your life.
Yeah, it’s a nice day. Hopefully, it’s an amazing day. But it’s sad to think that so many of us label that first day of being married as the best day of our lives.
Find out what you’re both passionate about and do it together. Travel. Exercise. Write. Paint. Sing. Drink coffee. Go to movies. Make your best days after the wedding. It shouldn’t all be downhill after “I do.”
13. Fighting about something ridiculous? Change the rules.
Have you and your partner ever found yourselves arguing over something absolutely ridiculous? Most of us have. If you can’t stop yourself from arguing over dumb stuff, try doing a handstand and then continue the argument. If the issue is more important than how ridiculous you look at that moment, write it down and come back to it later.
14. Sharing your passions only brings you closer.
What do you both love? Do it together.
15. Be present.
Give each other the time you deserve. Set boundaries on the phone, laptop, and iPad usage for the evening. Put them in airplane mode and don’t touch them until the next day. This forces you to take the time to actually chat with each other and not be so distracted.
Maybe you leave everything that can distract you at home and go out for a coffee together? Sometimes these dates can be awkward when there’s nothing to talk about. If you don’t have time, maybe you need to create a more simple life.
16. It will be hard. Have each other’s backs.
Yeah, there will be a few difficulties ahead. What great relationships haven’t suffered their own pitfalls? Being around anyone as much as we often are with our spouses, our ugly side is bound to come out at some point, and so is theirs. Work through this stuff together. You’ll be much stronger for it.
Written by Tyson Popplestone