Hence, when it comes to helping your child through a divorce, to talk about your feelings is crucial and also, your child must express his/her views. Neuman says, “Expressing themselves gives kids a sense of empowerment and can help ease their frustration. Even if nothing changes, your child will feel better knowing he made an effort to remedy the situation.”
4. Don’t hesitate to alter the visitation schedule
David Knox, Ph.D., author of The Divorced Dad’s Survival Book: How to Stay Connected With Your Kids says, “Of course, consistency is important, but some flexibility on your part can increase an ex’s ability to come through”. “If certain days or times are continually missed, for example, you might say, If Tuesday dinners aren’t good, what would be better?’’ It could be one of the best ways to make coping with divorce and easy chapter for your kids.
5. Try for calm transitions
You might think that if you aren’t openly argumentative then everything is good. But, kids are way too sensible and they can sense the stress of divorce and further become anxious.
Hence, you and your partner both need to aim for peaceful transitions. In fact, it is something highly essential to keep your kids away from the stress of divorce.
According to Dr. Knox, “Some dads complain that they just can’t handle the conflict when seeing their former spouse. Or a dad arrives to a clearly anxious child and assumes his ex has been bad-mouthing him. The father ends up rationalizing that it’s better if he doesn’t come at all.’’
Whatever you might feel, you should be civil. If you think that it’s just not possible for you then act smart. For example, you can collect your child from your ex at any neutral ground. Suppose, a friend’s place, a shopping mall or a park. You can just pick your child from such a place, completely ignore your ex and leave within minutes. The pressure of being at a public place will let you manage maintaining the decorum.
6. Bid a happy goodbye
Initially, you can’t count your divorce and children’s happiness on the same list. Rather, it is required to work for it constantly. One of the first and rightmost steps that you should take here is bidding goodbye with a smile to your kid when he/she goes off to be with the other parent.
Especially, all you mums out there who got divorced should keep this in mind. It has been seen that mothers are often unconscious and make their kids feel guilty about leaving. You must take care of that you don’t do this. This will help your kid spend a good time with his/her father and your ex will feel less tensed about the pickups too.
7. Let your kid get disappointed at times
It is definitely not easy to handle divorce and children together. One of the smartest tricks which play a major role here is not downplaying the pain and sadness of your child.
Neuman says, “Whether he’s upset about the divorce in general or about something more specific like a parent’s having to work late again, anger and disappointment are normal, healthy emotional reactions. A child is entitled to these feelings and should be able to talk about them without worrying that his parents will be upset or angry.”