5 Reasons Why You Hate People According To Psychology

Why You Hate People According To Psychology

Psychologist Brad Reedy explains “If we find part of ourselves unacceptable, we tend to attack others in order to defend against the threat. If we are okay with ourselves, we see others’ behaviors as ‘about them’ and can respond with compassion.” He further says “If I kept hate in my heart for (another), I would have to hate myself as well. It is only when we learn to hold ourselves with compassion that we may be able to demonstrate it toward others.

Read also: How Showing Compassion And Kindness Is Good For Your Mental Health

Apart from these there may be some other reasons why you may hate everyone based on the psychology of hate. Some of the additional reasons include:

  • You may find certain types of behavior and habits of people irritating
  • You are not interested in dealing with things that are not worthy of your time and energy
  • You are not really interested in meeting new people or making new friends and acquaintances
  • You have trust issues when it comes to relying on others
  • You believe in putting yourself and your interests first before anyone else
  • You lack inner peace and self love
  • You feel constantly stressed which makes you less tolerant & forgiving
  • You are not satisfied with your professional and personal life

Coping with difficult emotions

Compassion is the true antidote to hatred, believes licensed psychotherapist Allison Abrams. In her article, Allison explains that hatred has to be learned, while compassion comes from within. As it is evident from the psychology of hate, there are a number of reasons why you may hate the whole world. But it is only with self-awareness, compassion and empathy you can start healing your complex emotions.

Psychologist and author Bernard Golden says “We are all born with the capacity for aggression as well as compassion. Which tendencies we embrace requires mindful choice by individuals, families, communities and our culture in general. The key to overcoming hate is education: at home, in schools, and in the community.

Read also: 12 Tips To Self-Love And Compassion

Practicing mindfulness and stress relief strategies like meditation can enable you to realize when you begin to impose a negative attitude on other people. Once you identify the moment your attitude is turning negative, you can decide to be more compassionate. Being intentional in your thoughts, behaviors and actions can help you overcome this negative cycle of hatred.

Choose love over hate

Remember how love and hatred are closely linked? Once you become self aware and start living more intentionally, you can choose to convert your hatred into love. No, it’s still not necessary that you love everyone you meet, but it’s also not necessary that you hate everyone either. You need to remember that you are always in control.

Ladan Nikravan Hayes concludes “You should never let someone else limit your happiness or success. Remember that you have control over your feelings. Don’t let someone gain power over you just because they momentarily darken your day.

Read also: 6 Positive Psychology Practices To Boost Happiness and Improve Your Life

The Psychology of People Who “Hate People”
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67 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why You Hate People According To Psychology”

  1. I really don’t hate people, I just find them boring and annoying. Especially neurotypicals, most or them are dumb and/or evil, and sadly they rule the world. But there are many better things to do than hating humans, life is short and time is precious. But in my bad days, I hate them all lol.
    90% of Aspies > 90% of Neurotypicals
    Fictional characters and real cats >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> real people. 🙂

  2. I dont hate people, I just could not care about them.
    I dont have friends because I never bother and I forget peoples faces as soon as I dont see them regulary I dont remember them. I love being alone, I love freedom to do what I like when I like. People restrain my freedom in every way, I cannot cope with that and I hate being lonely and thats what people around me make me feel like, lonely, tyred and bored. People are a drain on my energy and a negative impact on my overall health. I detach myself from society in every possible way because society is evil and couses only suffering, people couse suffering and Im not willing to suffer!

    1. That sounds Terrible, & a hard scenario to ponder, the loneliness unfortunately will more than likely become a catch-22 later in life…. as in; it may help you feel good now in life and give you an energetic feeling of ambition- but later leave you tired, rundown & angry as well as lost. 🙁 |)??

      1. No, the blessing of solitude and silence, in mind and heart can never leave you run down nor lonely!
        The noise, suffering and drama coused by people, the draining of the mind and energy that is what leaves you lonely, bitter and increadibly angry. As soon as there is someone else around your freedom is restricted and your energy drained. People are poisson. When your alone you can never experience lonelyness, lonelness can only be experienced in the presence of people!

    2. I relate to this massively. A drain on my energy. Now I am not arrogant in saying this, I have many faults, but I am more perceptive and intelligent than most people. Not an intelligence that is necessarily associated with great intellect, but one that enables me to see what others cannot. I was never really aware that this was even an attribute I possessed, I just believed all would see things in the same way, without prejudice or judgment, and I am not suggesting that my way is the only on all matters, but more so seeing the morally right thing to do and understanding how my actions can influence others, and being careful in the way I interact with people. A pertinent example now, I moved to Finland with my girlfriend, and I am hearing my neighbour argue because of a car parking space being taken (despite others being available, just not his) and back home in the UK, there are people still caged in their homes, suffering, dying. I cannot understand the mentality of someone who would invest so much time and energy into something so trivial and meaningless, and doing nothing to contribute positively in this world. These same people claim they have no time for others, yet they can find time for menial and quite pathetic pursuits of redundancy. I am not sure I ever want to relate to that kind of perspective, yet I am the one forced to as I am the one who accommodates others, I get hurt trying to help because people don’t know how to help themselves so they hurt others, fortunately I am strong enough, but what about those who are not?

      I do believe we have grown beyond our means and mentally we are devolving, for the pursuit of money and success seems to take precedence over all else, and anyone with half a brain surely recognises that money brings nothing but pain and anxiety, well having too much anyway. But to propagate this ideal, we have created the need for money in so many of us that even those that would shun the whole concept, are trapped by it out of necessity. We look at Christopher McCandless, the protagonist of Into The Wild as some great hero who was brave enough to live by his own means, something that would be now impossible nearly 30 years later. But what this man learned is actually that we need people, intrinsically we are not solitary creatures, so as mentioned we find ourselves in a catch 22, for we need people, but we do not have the people we need.

      Humanity is a plague, and yes there is good in the world, but every storm has its eye, doesn’t stop it from destroying everything in its wake.

  3. I hate humans because they are a disease. Humans do not deserve life and i hope we never spread this disease beyond this shitty dying world.

  4. You have it wrong. I hate people solely because they intrude on my freedom, restrict what I want to do and try to control me. It is normal to hate prison guards and bosses who micromanage or just insist that you do stupid, worthless things. Nothing to do with jealousy or envy. I love love love being alone where no-one can tell me what to do.

  5. I started unfortunately hating people recently. But I don’t really hate everyone, I have friends. But I can’t tolerate so many narcissists around me in this society that is getting more and more stupid. People became very selfish, self serving, egocentric, have no empathy, are mostly superficial, care just about having a comfortable and easy life… I find it terrible.

  6. The world is in a heap of a mess because people, for the most part, are just down right STUPID! Just look at our politics and our leaders, look at climate change, look at how capitalism has evolved, look at our diets and the fact that only 12% of our population have a healthy weight and metabolism, look at the way this pandamit has been handled, etc., etc. I am now retired and am happily married to my one and only husband for the past 35 years. I found purpose in my work and I loved my career (not easy, but great rewards in loving what I was doing). I’ve never found “my tribe”. I’ve always marched to my own drum beat. I find people to be shallow, self promoting, lacking wisdom and STUPID! Sure, I could strive to find a way to make things better in the world, but the way I see it, the younger generation should be doing this, but I can only laugh at what I see. I think mankind is doomed.

    1. …and that’s the reason why I hate people – for allowing the world to be at this cusp in the 21st century. Sooooo sad that we have not evolved to a higher level of consciousness than where we are at in 2020. Collectively speaking, we are in the dark ages.

    2. Stop bitching about capitalism, socialism isn’t helping us. People who sit and bitch about hating people then turn around and make themselves an example of the stupid I can’t stand hearing about every fucking day. Getting upset that people are fat while talking about how superficial humanity is ugh just stop.

  7. Not true in my case. I hate egos, the need for superiority, control, nosiness, expectations of conformity and insistence that everyone mingle with them. Leave me alone and let me do my thing. If I am not affecting you, you have no right to complain. People can’t do that.

  8. Why would compassion and kindness and love be “ideal”? If they’re so ideal, why don’t humans largely treat other species that way? The way we treat the rest of the natural world–even when we’re aware other beings experience pain, suffer…–is as if it were nearly-inert resources for us to use as we want. I think that’s one of our species’ default behavior modes–to exploit other things for our (own, individual) benefits. After experiencing enough of this kind of common behavior, especially if it’s cumulatively damaging, of course people would begin disliking other people–like the way humans tend to dislike mosquitos. It seems perfectly natural and reasonable to me that people would hate at least some others.

    1. So true, I hate it when I see people causing suffering to others, abusing and killing innocent animals. No animal on this planet is so cruel as a man is.

  9. Tired of the Human Race

    I’ve managed thousands of people for decades. 90% are a disappointment 5% are excellent, 5% are full on psychopathic criminals. 50% are below average intelligence. Generally all a misery. There is not enough land to distance myself from the trash that is humanity in my retirement.

    1. That’s your problem – the need to manage people. Your expectations of conformity, need for dominance and your insistence that anybody who doesn’t knuckle under is inferior or stupid.

  10. God whatever. 90% are trash (until I’m proven wrong in which event yay.)
    Thing is it feels so excellent to have no expectation and laugh at their expenses because you live the way you love in every way which apparently royally pisses them off. /I mean puts them in a holy rage./ It’s RICH to have these secrets in the palm of your hand.I only feel miserable when I think of family. Those are faces I dream of breaking physically with my fists. <3

  11. When I say I Don’t like most people it will Never change. Those Ideals or Expectations are that you don’t abuse animals for personal gain let alone at all. you don’t steal, cheat, lie, rape, manipulate or otherwise seek to harm others. You think about more than Just your own selfish wants. You don’t build yourself up off of kicking those below you. You don’t go rioting and destroying your town because a thug was killed-for which the only thing that matters to you is their Color and not the content of their character. Not to abuse or rape children or need I add animals. Not to Use other people. And most of all not to be silent when others Do pull this crap. I mean seriously, those expectations aught to be Everyones Normal Expectations of them selves and others. I Love Good People! but I don’t like how many people are just scum.

    1. There are more of those people than there are good people in the world, and the only end in site is when human beings will completely and forever be destroyed. Because humans will always be out for themselves.

  12. I’ve always been a loner type and a don’t like most people person . I’m not judgmental and don’t really have high standards , I have however worked in customer service retail for over 26yrs I think one Christmas season in this environment will do it for most !

  13. I have found that a lot of people who hate other people as a rule actually are unhappy with themselves. They seem to have a idea in their head of what life should be and can’t accept it for what it is. They throw a blanket statement out there “I hate people” instead of looking at it on an individual basis. There are good people and not so good people… there are people I don’t like and people I do like and there are people we click with and people we don’t. This is nothing new! Many of the “people haters” that I have met are just not satisfied with their own behaviors and this is an easy out. This gives them an excuse to act out and “give up” on others. I see it as a cop out or a lack of ability to cope in a world that is full of injustice. It is easier for these people to write everyone off and be bitter than to make an effort to better their lives and the lives of others. They cling to an expectation that even they can’t meet because it is not realistic. I see it as a lack of empathy and total self absorption yet some of these “people haters” are my friends. I can only imagine that I am and will be hated by many as well as loved by many!

    1. I agree with you, but, if I may be so bold as to say that, yes there are people who definetly lack empathy, but there are some who have too much empathy. Every complaint, each sad story they hear, they feel in some way; given what a negative and complaint ridden culture we live in, well, these people are like emotional open wounds, walking around in a world of knives, without even a band-aid for protection.

    2. Understood, as I fall more into that category than any other and can understand how hard it can be. However, seeking out a way to heel and find joy is very important. Giving up or hating everyone is not going to make it any better. It can turn into a hopeless circle and instead of looking for good in people the decision has been made that they are worthy of hate, devoid of goodness or joy.

  14. Not sure I learned much from this article, but sadly I do kinda hate people. I do have high-ish expectations (good grammar, modest dress); however, I will say I learned something this year. I’ve noticed a correlation between hating others and hating myself. When I am not so hard on myself, it seems easier to love others as they are. We all have our faults and are quite human.

  15. Not true completely the point is that the human race is evil and do so many things wrong and just continue to go to hell in a hand basket with all the crooked evil stuff they do Not to mention all of their double standards and hyprocy Oh Oh Oh let me Not forget the lack of caring or morals standards that have gone out the window so so so so much more

    1. It is the rise of Narcissism and Cluster B in the world. Only takes one in a family, friendship group, workplace to cause mayhem between normal people who haven’t a clue what they’re dealing with. These people happen to mostly run the world unfortunately.

  16. as a person who loves them self…I am not capable of hating anyone….there are people that do things and have personality traits I do not like and would choose not to be around or engage with…but as far as “hate goes” I would not know what that is….if people focused more on love and less on what they want to hate on-the world would be a much better and safer place….and how anyone can hate on another human being that they do not even know shows that they are just a hateful,emotionally insecure person in general…and would not be someone I would choose to stick around…one reason I am happy in life is because I choose company that is loving and respectful and values humanity….that is my perception….my best teachers in life showed me how to truly love myself and walk away from them or anything else that insulted my soul ,so they were my last mistakes….you may not be able to change people who are hateful…but you sure as hell can choose not to keep them in your company…life is too short to spend on toxic people….I choose to be happy 😉

    1. Darlene Eva WhelanOehlert is correct.
      And so much of the ugly stuff that is going on in the world is not driven by hate, it’s driven my greed and worst still indifference. And this is the issue right there…careful you are not indifferent, a worse human trait than hate.

    2. apathy…in the words of albert einstein…true evil is not the person doing the act itself…but those who stand by,watch,look on and do nothing about it….it may not be verbatim-but I refer to that in a book I wrote whih will bepublished soon

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