6 Types Of Negative Thinking That Makes You Miserable

6 Types Of Negative Thinking That Makes You Miserable

3. Compare Yourself to Others

Despite what you see on Facebook and Instagram, no one lives a perfect, problem-free life. If you constantly compare yourself to others, you will always feel less than. A lot of us experience real feelings of negativity because of someone else’s success- an engagement, a raise, a dream job, an amazing (and worse yet, affordable!) apartment in NYC, a new designer handbag.

The funny thing about that is their success had absolutely no direct impact on your life–nothing was taken away from you (unless it was actually taken away, like someone stealing your job or your man or your handbag), and your life is no different now than it was before their success.

Comparing ourselves to others is a breeding ground for feelings of envy and jealousy, which are the ugliest of vices. Some people will have more than you, some will have less. Everyone’s life is made up of a unique combination of abundance and need, and everyone is just trying to bridge the gap and attain a happy balance.

Instead of looking at what other people have that you want and comparing yourself to someone else, compare yourself only to yourself. Reflect on how you have grown and changed and how you are better than you were.

4. Listen to Your Inner Critic

All of us are forced to coexist with an inner critic who tries to undermine us. It can come in the form of a quiet whisper or overpowering shout depending on what you’ve been through in life. The inner critic is the one who tells you you’re not worthy, that this guy will leave, that you’ll never be successful, that you will never be good enough.

But this voice only has as much power as you give it. This inner critic is not reality, it is a product born from a painful or traumatic past. When you treat it as the ultimate authority of who you are, you will block yourself from ever being fully happy and at ease.

Thoughts are real forces; they create a pulse that permeates your being and they can create real chemical changes. When you feed into your inner critic and let her call the shots, you are opening the floodgates for negativity to come pouring in, and this impacts everything- your mood, your energy, your vibe, the way you interact with others, the way you interact with yourself.

Practice noticing your thoughts and identifying when your inner critic is speaking. Then, simply pluck her out like a weed or tell her that her opinions are not valid or needed.

Related: 5 Ways To Stop Your Inner Critic In Its Tracks

5. Stay Stuck in the Past

When you ruminate over events from the past, you are taking yourself out of the present and engaging with a reality that is no longer relevant. We are all works in progress, we all make mistakes and have lessons to learn (and sometimes relearn as many times as necessary).

Staying stuck in the past won’t change or fix anything. All it will do is produce feelings of pain and remorse. You may also block yourself from finding true happiness and satisfaction (this is especially true when it comes to holding onto thoughts and memories of a guy who broke your heart).

Instead of living life looking through the rearview mirror, focus on what you learned from the experience and try to really internalize it so you can move on, feeling confident that history won’t repeat itself.

the past
Staying stuck in the past can make you miserable

6. Never See the Good

Something good happens and you write it off as a fluke. Something bad happens and it’s because you’re incompetent, stupid, lazy, bad, wrong. Throughout the day, some things will go right and others will go wrong. And there won’t always be an equal balance, sometimes it’ll skew more towards wrong (and the best days are when it all skews right!).

The point is, you get to choose what to focus on. You can dwell on the bad and complain about it to anyone who will listen, or you can reflect on the good. Learning to express gratitude is one of the most fundamental skills when it comes to your happiness and well-being. It’s also important to note that when you focus on the bad, you tend to attract more bad things.

When you shift your focus–and see the proverbial glass as half full–everything shifts toward the better.

Related: The Healing Power Of Gratitude

Got any other surefire ways to be miserable? Or straight-up tips to be happy? Tell us in the comments!

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Written by Sabrina Alexis
Originally appeared on A New Mode

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6 Types Of Negative Thinking That Makes You Feel Miserable
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6 Types Of Negative Thinking That Makes You Feel Miserable
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6 Types Of Negative Thinking That Makes You Miserable
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Sabrina Alexis

Sabrina Alexis is a writer and the co-founder and editorial director of A New Mode. Sabrina graduated from Boston University in 2007 with degrees in English and Psychology and has been writing about fashion, beauty, relationships, and wellness ever since.View Author posts