There are instances when the adult children of re-partnering parents may have reasons to mistrust the object of their parents’ affections. Some conduct their own investigations, looking for red flags that might turn up in a routine background check or internet search. Others hire professional investigators, most often when the surviving parent has substantial financial assets or is marrying a much younger or otherwise inappropriate partner. And many remarrying senior citizens sign prenuptial agreements, often at the insistence of their grown kids.
“All I ever wanted was for them to be happy,” said a widowed friend whose three adult children were anything but happy when he announced, a year after his wife’s death, that a woman he’d met recently was moving into his house. “Why don’t they want us to be?” he wonders. Two of his kids are grown and gone, with families of their own, and even though they weren’t thrilled about his new relationship, they eventually came to the wedding another year later. But the third and youngest child, a 34-year-old who’d tried and failed at making a life of his own for over a decade and lived at home until his father’s new partner moved in, still hasn’t accepted her. “On the other hand, he’s got an apartment, a job, and is finally supporting himself,” said his father. “Maybe it took me getting on with my own life for him to find one of his own. I hope he comes around, but if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. And if he ghosts my funeral too, I‘ll get over it.”
Seeing your parent get married to someone else can be overwhelming, and difficult to deal with. When kids ghost their parent’s wedding, they are not always doing it from a place of spite or hatred; they simply cannot come to terms with the fact that someone else is going to take the place of their mother/father. Many people tend to ghost their parent’s wedding, but with time end up making amends with them, so there is always hope of reconciliation.