Gottman’s Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Who Can End Your Relationship

gottmans four horsemen

Instead of stonewalling when you feel emotionally flooded, walk away from the stressful situation and take a break. However, make sure to be respectful towards your partner by communicating that you are feeling overwhelmed. Assure them that once both of you’re ready, you will get back to the discussion. If you keep stonewalling your partner and repress your emotions, sooner or later it will explode making your relationship worse. So take a break and engage in activities that make you feel better, something that helps you soothe yourself, such as taking a walk outside, reading, listening to music, eating your favorite food, or exercising.  However, make sure that you and your partner take a break for at least 20 minutes in order to calm down physiologically and psychologically. In fact, research shows that taking breaks “during mentally demanding tasks” can lead to more positivity and productivity simply by engaging in relaxing activities for at least 20 minutes. {16}

Believe In Love

Gottman's Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Who Can End Your Relationship
Gottman's Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Who Can End Your Relationship

Relationships can be complicated. But love never is. Although Gottman’s Four Horsemen can lead to resentment, insecurity, insensitivity and negativity in your relationship, have faith in yourself, your partner and the love you share with each other. Learning to identify and counteract criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling can help you steer away from the toxic, destructive patterns of communication and use more productive communication patterns to build a healthier relationship. So make sure to be cautious about these horsemen of relationship apocalypse and focus on the solutions instead to enjoy the love you have for your partner.

Read: 6 Ways To Improve Communication In A Relationship

Here is an interesting video that you may find helpful:


Reference:

1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7363036/
2. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30486710/
3. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28577587/
4. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27281351/
5. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5730062/
6. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27543300/
7. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24188085/
8. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12064033/
9. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3835900/
10.https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19930437/
11.https://ift-malta.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/gottman-predictor-of-divorce.pdf
12.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4852543/
13.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1622921/
14.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5181851/
15.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5961625/
16.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6585675/
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Gottman's Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Who Can End Your Relationship
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Gottman's Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Who Can End Your Relationship
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Theo Harrison

Hey there! I am just someone trying to find my way through life. I am a reader, writer, traveler, fighter, philosopher, artist and all around nice guy. I am outdoor person but heavily into technology, science, psychology, spiritualism, Buddhism, martial arts and horror films. I believe in positive action more than positive thinking.View Author posts