Wherever you are at this point in time, I want to tell you- I already put you away in my heart. I stopped chasing. Look behind you…I’m nowhere to be found. I’m sorry I finally decided to give my heart a break. I’ve grown up and finally stopped licking my wounds that were too deep- the wounds no one could see and touch. I admit, I still have this feeling or the remnant of love in my heart. I can’t turn it off just like this but I will learn to live with it. And one day, it will all evaporate in the vast sky. Thank you… for letting me be a part of that journey I have chased for such a long time. There are footprints but they will never lead me back again to the yesterdays I once had. I will never look back to a place where I thought a home I belong. I will never go back to say goodbye to you because I’m telling it to you now. Maybe, this time around, I will be one of God’s little Darlings and one of His favorites, too. I know, someday…somehow…someone out there will find me and will never let me chase again. That someone who is crazy about me and who thinks I’m the best thing that ever happened to his life. A man who will never ever let me feel those familiar knife stabs in my heart.
I already stopped the wild-goose chase. I stopped running after you. I even stopped begging for crumbs. It’s not because I am tired but because I finally realized the melancholy it brought in my life. I was a beggar for quite long time and it torments me that you have never given me what I was begging for.
I finally decided to quit breaking my own heart, you know that?