When we listen to that insecure fear voice, we’re doomed. Not only is it lying to us, it’s saying it in words that are almost believable.
Don’t let the voice of insecurity push you into needy behaviors that scare him off.
So… will no contact make him move on?
Will he forget about you during no contact?
The no contact rule works but only if you’re being truthful to yourself about where you are in the relationship right before it got to this breaking point.
If he broke up with you because he was never all that connected to you, to begin with, or there was another woman in the picture, it’s going to become messy.
You’ll be kidding yourself if you thought space was all he really wanted, right?
He took this opportunity to break things off and leave your relationship. He was de-escalating. Or if he called it a time out, he’s really just playing with words and he’s probably planning to end it for good.
Be sure you take a long, hard look at how much of a relationship you actually have in the first place before you start using the no contact rule. In order for the no contact rule to work, he has to be in love with you.
So what are you supposed to do during your no contact time?
I hear this question quite a bit. What do you do during no contact while you’re waiting?
The first thing you need to do is stop waiting on him. Go live your life.
If you spend a couple of weeks doing nothing but thinking about him, planning out your future, imagining every little detail of your marriage, you’re basically living in a fantasy.
If you spend your time doing that instead of living your life, he’s not going to come back to you.
He’ll smell the desperation all over you and that will only lead to another, more final breakup.
Use the no contact time to get moving towards your personal goals.
Get back to work or school or get to work on a degree, get to the gym and start working off a few pounds or just get toned and fit.
Get to that writing class you put on hold.
Work on that novel.
Hang out with the girlfriends you might have neglected while you got wrapped up in this relationship.
If you sit around for a few weeks in fantasy mode, you’ll go straight out of your mind.
It’s time to not only distract yourself from him but to use your time to improve your vibe for later on when you actually break the no contact rule and finally start communicating with him again.
Another thing you want to do during no contact gets back to your family and social life.
I have yet to coach a woman who did not admit that she puts other people in her life on the back burner when she gets a new boyfriend.
She puts her all into the relationship and then she loses herself in it.
Like a dream, she uses the relationship to escape from the rest of the world.
When a breakup occurs, she doesn’t realize who she is anymore. Over time, she begins identifying herself in how her (now) ex sees and thinks about her.
Again, the goal is to feel better about yourself without him during this no contact time period.
Nothing makes you feel better than reconnecting with people who mean the most to you. And, in the worst-case scenario where you don’t get back together with him, you’re going to be well on your way to being over him anyways. That gives you all the power.
Now, here’s one thing you should not do during the no contact time.
Do not abuse your social media presence.
I see a lot of women who use social media— Facebook, Instagram, all these accounts— as their sole, side hobby when they’re not with or near their boyfriend.
When they’re not with their boyfriend, they’re on their phone. It’s almost as if they turn to their phones the way a heavy smoker might run outside on a break to light up a cigarette.
Don’t get me wrong here. You do need to leverage social media to get him curious and to make sure he doesn’t forget about you during no contact.
You want him to bump into your cool, full life but not the opposite.
First, you don’t want to be following your ex at all on social media during a breakup.
Block him from appearing on your timeline so that you’re not tempted to just go see what he’s up to. That’s going to end really badly.
If he was posting about how much he was missing you, he just be telling you that. It’s not going to be showing up online.
And anything he does post about, it’s only going to make you want to hear him proclaim his love for you more.