Gas Lighting – Something, everyone should know about. Are you a Victim Too ?

3. Push Back

Pushing back is something that isn’t always possible for people. Many people are in situations where they’re financially dependent on their abuser, are minors living with abusive parents, or are at risk for increased abuse and physical violence if they push back.

However, if you’re in a situation where you feel like pushing back is an option, go for it.

Call that person out on it.  Let that person know that they’re actively dismissing claims you know to be true. Letting them know that you’re sticking to your guns and standing by what you remember causes the abuser to begin to lose power. 

Some quick come backs to push back with include “Ignoring what’s hurting me is abusive,” “Dismissing my feelings won’t make me forget that you’ve hurt me,” and “I know you’re trying to manipulate me, but I stand by what I said/felt/heard/saw.”

These types of phrases bring attention to the patterns and behaviors that those who are gaslighting you don’t want you to see.

And hearing yourself validate your own feelings and experiences will also help you really learn to trust yourself again.

***

When you have this power – your own sense of truth – stripped away from you, it’s hard to feel like that voice inside your head can do anything but lie to you.

But those moments of tension, of pulling, of back and forth that occur? They happen because your brain knows what’s really true and is trying to tell you that you can be trusted – even through this manipulation.

You are strong. Your feelings are valid. Your memory is trustworthy. If you feel hurt, you have been hurt. If you feel angry, someone has upset you.

Your lived experiences are your own – and you have every right to feel through them and to react to things that have done you harm. You are worthy and capable of being able to trust yourself again.


Source – EverydayFeminism.com Author – Kris Nelson

You might also want to read more about about Emotional Abuse here 5 Things Sociopaths and Narcissists Say to Make You Feel Crazy
Differences Between a Psychopath vs Sociopath
Stages of Grief from a Psychopathic Relationship

 

 

19 thoughts on “Gas Lighting – Something, everyone should know about. Are you a Victim Too ?”

  1. “It was me against Fox News and her mouth.”

    That was where the author lost me. I don’t read these articles to hear thinly-veiled digs at what my politics may be. If you’re writing about gaslighting, then please stick to the topic. Be careful when inserting your personal experiences that you do not also insert your personal politics, because that can be seen as a very personal attack on someone who has been attacked many times in their own life.

  2. I do not even know how I finished up right here, but I assumed this
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  4. Had a mother who used to do this as early as I can remember. Like you, I played a duel role in my mind. I would say to myself, "we never discussed this before." Therefore, she could not overtly make me think what she was saying about me was true.

  5. Omg! I'm right there with you. I'm bipolar and didn't realize until after my child's abusive father hard to distinguish the truth and so hard to get my life back even though he's onto to his next target and on the other side of the island from us. The mind trip still lingers bipolar doesn't help

    1. In what I experienced growing up. This would not have helped. My mother would say that's not true. Even though I called her out on something while it was happening. I was told that I just didn't understand what was happening, or I was being too sensitive or she denied what she was doing. No I'm not she'd say. The truth never mattered. It was very confidence shattering.

  6. I've always been told by my abusive mother that I remembered everything all wrong, that I was the problem not her. She was horribly mentally and emotionally abusive to me. I hate her. I wish she'd die. My family members have told me that I'm not crazy, it was the talk of the family. Her own sister wanted me to know, when she died, how sorry she was for the way I was treated.

  7. Omg, thank you so much for this article! I can completely relate to this, I went through this myself and it was always blamed on my Bipolar disorder, I'm only learning now to know it wasn't my fault & I can trust my own judgement, I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone , it's soul destroying !

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