13. “I just realized that ‘Let me check my calendar’ is the adult version of ‘Let me ask my mom.’”
— Noelle Chatham
14. “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.”
— David Letterman
15. “If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit the same mistake again they just apologized for.”
― Amit Kalantri
16. God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
― Humorist Bill Watterson
17. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. – Franklin
― P. Jones
18. Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that’s not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
― Robert Orben
19. Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
― Doug Larson
20. I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.
― Mother Teresa
There you have it, Just read these funny quotes and refresh yourself with a dose of laughter whenever you feel down.