For most people, who have suffered narcissistic abuse, getting away from the abuse itself is easy. But the hardest and lengthier process is to recover and heal from the discard. Have you ever suffered from narcissistic abuse, and are finding moving on and healing from narcissistic abuse extremely hard?
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse is a long, complex process.
I wish I could sugar coat it for you, but there is no easy, fast way to recover from a narcissist.
I’ve been in the healing process for years.
My journey began in 2014 after being “dumped” by a narcissist. I didn’t know at that time that he was a narcissist. It wasn’t until 2017 that my therapist introduced the notion of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome to me.
My Healing Hope
As an ongoing survivor of Narcissistic Abuse, I want to share with you and others what’s worked for me while in this healing journey.
I’m not an expert, coach, or therapist. I’m a woman who has spent most of her life being abused by a narcissist who wants to share what helped me and the steps I took in recovery.
One way I am healing from Narcissistic Abuse is by writing poetry, short stories, as well as writing this post, and hope others like it. My only hope is that new survivors can relate to this post and that it confirms that you are not alone in your Narcissistic Abuse healing process.
The First (and hardest) Step to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
With that said, the first step to healing from Narcissistic Abuse is to stop convincing yourself that the narcissist is remorseful and misses you or your relationship.
Read that again. Let that sink in. I know it’s hard. You might even be sitting there thinking I’m wrong.
I’m not wrong.
If you’ve done your research, you know that narcissists are the way they are because it’s more than likely that they were abused early in life. Maybe, you’ve had a chance to see that abuse in action from the narcissist’s parent.
Knowing and seeing this will naturally cause you to feel empathy for them. Compassion is a natural response. But, you can’t do it. You can’t let your healthy response convince you that the narcissist feels any of these same emotions.
Narcissists don’t have that skill set. They don’t miss people or relationships.
A narcissist is emotionally unavailable with an avoidant attachment style. They were never emotionally invested in your relationship and therefore can’t feel remorse for the loss of you.
Convincing Yourself Is Harmful To You
If you’re a new survivor of Narcissistic Abuse, I understand how hard it is to keep from convincing yourself that the narcissist is remorseful or misses you.
It’s something I still struggle with. And the reason for that is because I, like you, loved this person genuinely. Our feelings are real, unlike that of the narcissist.
So, when you find yourself thinking this way, you need to revert to what you know to be real – the patterns of lying, cheating, emotional/physical/financial abuse, etc are what was and what IS true.
Convincing yourself of anything other than those patterns, no matter how good your intentions, will delay your recovery and cause you more harm.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is tough. You will have days that it’s overwhelming. Don’t fall into the “mind trap” by reminding yourself of the abuse.
With lots of self-love and discipline, you can move on to a healthier, happier life.
And most importantly, if you need help ask for it.