I want to experience how it is to be the first and the last thing in someone’s thoughts. To be the first one to receive their text messages in the morning, to be the last one they talk to before they fall asleep. The one they want to spend their time with when they are off from their work.
I have this desire to raise my hopes without the fear of losing them in utter disappointment. To set plans for dates and outings and have him on time. I want him to be pleased and happy with the idea of spending his time with me.
I want to know the feeling of being with a guy who kisses me spontaneously. He does it because he wants it not just once but again and again. I want to be much more than a one night stand.
I want to feel what it is to be told the truth instead of lies. To know what it is to see the truth in his eyes and know there is nothing false or made up. To know he is what he appears to be and there are no tricks involved. I know he truly deserves my time and attention and I am not wasting it on a worthless guy who is a cheat.
I want to experience that happiness that arises from the feeling when someone makes efforts to make me happy. I want to experience when the love and care is equal on both sides. It is not me alone who is the one to care more, love more.
I want to experience what certainty in a relationship means. I want to know the feeling of waiting patiently when his messages are on the way. I can wait even if it takes more than an hour to reach me. To feel free from the fear of being ditched because I have no doubt I am in his mind all the time and he would communicate with me as soon as he gets time.
I want to relish the feeling of being shown off as his girlfriend and not just a friend. To love the feeling when he speaks about my accomplishments with pride even though I don’t think a great deal about them. To know well I mean the world to him, I am beautiful and talented and someone who can spark jealousy in others.
I want to be sure of his feelings. I hate to do the guess work because I want to be with someone I know is sure of his love for me. I want him to tell me what he feels inside and not hide and keep things rolling in his mind. I want to hear in clear words that he is serious and there is no looking back from here.
I want to learn the feeling of being loved truly as I deserve to be. I want his good and kind words knowing they are not lies. To bask in the feeling he would never make me cry because my tears would also break his heart. He is the one who makes me feel beautiful, stronger and happier.
I want to feel what it feels to be someone’s priority because he makes me that.