While it may take a lot of courage for you to step out of line and realize that it is okay for you to ask for help – even for what someone else might perceive as “small” – you can still choose to do it. You may be surprised that once you get into the office or the online session with your counselor, that you have way more back-logged memories, thoughts and feelings than you even realized.
In my experience, the reason clients seek help is almost never the reason that they stay. Most of us are so used to carrying the weight of a million light-years alone on our backs that once we start talking, everything starts to spill out.
A really good therapist/counselor will be able to help you see past the nuances of your daily challenges and find the deeper meanings surrounding them. They will also be able to help you problem solve and come up with solutions to make your life happier, easier and more carefree.
And just think, the happier you are, the less you are carrying, the kinder and more available you will be to others around you who are afraid to ask for help as well. Who knows, you may even inspire someone else to do the same!
4. Fear that once you start feeling the heavy feelings you will never be able to stop
This fear, like all the others, makes complete sense, especially if you come from a family or environment of non-feelers. “Feelings” is such an overly-demonized word. We associate it with discomfort and hiding and shame and all sorts of really scary things. In reality, though, feeling involves all the things – including joy, elation, enthusiasm, connection and peace. What we don’t talk about enough, however, is that without the proverbial “bad” feelings, we can never fully lean into the good.
When we have a lifetime (or even a few years) of back-logged feelings that may include, but are not limited to, sadness, anger, fear, heartbreak, anxiety, uncertainty and guilt, we are literally without space to engage fully in life. We may have convinced ourselves that we are “over” this person or “done” with that scenario from 20 years ago, but if we haven’t dealt with it head-on, it is still there and it is coming out at ourselves and those we love sideways.
It is a very common myth that if we ask for help and start having feelings that we will be stuck in a state of eternal pain. And, in actuality, quite the opposite is true. When we start to feel the stuff we have kept at bay for a while, it is painful at first, and maybe even temporarily dismantling. But, slowly, over time, with consistent work and effort, those feelings integrate and create space for TRUE emotional freedom and empowerment.
Conversely, if we don’t ever face them, they continue to build and build and build and build until one of several things happens, either we eventually explode and break down at a very inopportune time and have to seek help anyway OR we go on endlessly reacting to life and taking out our un-dealt with emotions on the people around us who love us the most. Either way, it is way easier to get the help you need NOW and avoid one of those scenarios in the long-run.
To learn more and get the help you or your company needs now, please contact me.
Written by: Blythe Landry Originally appeared on: Blythelandry.com Republished with permission.