“Agent Orange: I”m 46 and my girlfriend is 8? months pregnant and I’m starting to panic about things. Am I too old to be a dad in most people’s eyes? thatfunnyblog: I think I just had a miniature heart attack.”
Oh ignore me, I’m just loading my rifle. Of course you can take my daughter to prom.
No dad, please not again.
My friend gave birth in her car on the the way to the hospital and her husband named the kid Carson and if you don’t think that’s the best dad joke ever get out of my face.
“Dad, when is Father’s Day? Nine months before Mother’s Day.”
“My mom was a tiger. My dad was a brave dog.”
“My daughter is allowed, 3 male friends. The father, the son, and the holy spirit.”
“Me: Mom? Mom: Yeah? Me: Why is it taking dad over 4 years to get milk?”
“Me: Gets bad grades on my report card. My clueless dad: I guess I should be disappointed.”
“I made you this dad! Wow! What the hell is it?”