From Father To Son: 5 Secrets To Have A Happy Marriage

From Father To Son: 5 Secrets To Have A Happy Marriage

Emotions are not supposed to make sense or be logical. THINK before you say, “Well, you shouldn’t feel that way.”

When a woman says, “I hate it every time you lose your temper. It makes me feel, I don’t know, I just hate it!” What she’s trying to say is that “You have the ability to either make me feel good or bad, and you are choosing to make me feel bad.” And THAT choice of yours speaks volumes to her about your concern and respect for her. And it never helps to tell her, “It has nothing to do with you. You shouldn’t feel that way.” Trust me on that one.

If a man chooses to create an environment of emotional safety, he is choosing to understand what behaviors of his can allow that to happen. He is choosing to make changes in how he responds to his wife’s emotions. He learns the power of a masculine response over a boyish reaction.

“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” – Barbara De Angelis

 

5) She picked you for a reason

She is attracted to you. She thinks you are funny. She laughs at your jokes. She loves making love to you. She trusts you and respects you. She is proud of you.

Don’t screw this up. She loves who you are now. But, you have a lot of growing to do still.

Within the first few years of marriage, many men lose sight of who they are and why they picked her. They can grow impatient, critical, and judgmental. These negative emotions start in very subtle ways during seemingly inconsequential events.

If you’re not careful, those events will lead to bigger events and soon you may find that her trust, respect, and attraction for you has faded away.

Be the man she married. Be the man she needs. Be the man who is better than trying to “get even” by creating bad feelings in her just because you’re feeling bad.

Love her. Give to her without expecting something back. Respect her words and her dreams without judgment.

Talk to her. Be open. Be vulnerable. Let her understand you and your fears. Cry with her.

But don’t stop leading! Lead YOURSELF first so you can lead her to a stronger marriage.

Accept responsibility. Expect more from yourself. Surround yourself with other good men like you who are on the same path.

I’m one of those men and I’ll always be with you – for the rest of your life.

Love,
Dad

 

Here’s an interesting video that you may find helpful:

 

“Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.” – Milton Berle

Love is a magical feeling. When you fall in love with someone, you know instantly that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. But the thing is that love doesn’t last forever. Just like we fall in love, we can fall out of love. So it takes a lot more than mere love to make a marriage last.

It requires that you fall in love several times with the same person. The person you chose to marry. It requires you love them even when you don’t like them. You love them even when you don’t want to. Even when they make it really hard for you to love them. To stay with them. 

But that’s how it works. That’s what makes them so special. 

That’s what makes her your wife. 


Written by Steve Horsmon
Originally appeared in The Goodmen Project

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