Love is never easy, but falling in love with a single mom brings a unique set of challenges and rewards. Here’s what you need to know before leaping.
It was a typical day when I first saw her at the park, chasing after her little one. She was a single mom, and I was a single man who was reluctant to commit, but there was something about her that felt different.
She was so full of life and love, and I couldn’t help but be drawn to her. As we got to know each other, I found myself falling deeper in love with her every day.
Even though she had a child and a lot of responsibilities, she made time for me and showed me what it meant to truly care for someone.
Honestly, I had plenty of female attention in my life, but none of them made me feel the happiness and contentment that I felt when I was with her.
Of course, there were challenges along the way. Some people tried to discourage me and told me that a relationship with a single mom would be too complicated and difficult. But I couldn’t let go of the love that I felt for her.
I knew that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, even if it meant navigating the complexities of co-parenting and blending families.
Related: Single Parent Syndrome: 3 Adverse Effects And Coping Tools
Why So Many Men Advise Against Dating a Single Mom
To be honest, it is rare to find a single mom who is not approached by men.
Men are often attracted to them and want to date them, but many hesitate to commit to a serious relationship and build a future together.
This is a common issue but not discussed more openly in society.
I can only imagine how discouraging it must be for these women to constantly be approached by men who are not willing to commit to a future together.
The reason is that many young men believe:
1. Single moms are incapable of having a successful relationship.
Although this belief is unfounded and unfair, there are some men who hold the belief that single moms are incapable of having a successful relationship because their previous relationship didn’t work out.
Due to this stereotype, many young men may believe that starting a relationship with a single mom won’t be fruitful.
2. Dating a single mom is a huge responsibility.
Being in a relationship is a significant responsibility, and dating a single mom adds the responsibility of caring for her child.
It takes a special kind of person to step up to the plate and take on this role with dedication and love.
Unfortunately, many men are only interested in having fun and avoid taking any serious responsibility in the beginning stages of a relationship.
Even when a relationship becomes more serious, the idea of taking on responsibility for a partner’s children can be intimidating, which can scare them away from taking on the added responsibility of dating a single mom.
3. Being in a relationship with a single mom is inherently toxic.
Many single moms have faced challenging experiences in their past and may have even gone through traumatic events. As a result, they require more love, understanding, and patience from their partner.
But it’s a sad reality that some men view this as too much effort and shy away from the idea of pursuing a serious and emotional relationship with single moms.
While there may be instances where dating a single mom did not turn out well, it is not fair to generalize and assume that all single moms are the same.
Instead, we should strive to see each person as an individual rather than grouping them into categories and avoid stereotypes and assumptions about their traits or behaviors.
By setting our perspectives right and approaching each person with an open mind, we can create more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
In my story, I didn’t intend to fall in love. It simply happened after a few meetings.
We started off as friends and before we knew it, we were a couple.
However, as I reflect on our relationship today, I can identify certain reasons why this happened.
Related: 5 Tips On How To Be A Successful Single Mother
Falling In Love With A Single Mom, Why It’s The Best Thing
Reasons I fell in love with a single mom:
1. She taught me to be more patient.
Patience is an important aspect that forms the foundation of a nurturing, lasting relationship.
Unfortunately, I’ve noticed that many young couples nowadays tend to jump to the idea of breaking up when faced with rough times in their relationship.
I’ve experienced this frustration before and wondered why we couldn’t manage our arguments. Then I realized that in our fast-paced era, where everything from food to downloads to love hookups is just a click away, we have lost the art of slowing things down.
Although I used to act impulsively at times, my partner was always patient with me. When I asked her if she ever got angry, she admitted that she does get angry, but she doesn’t want to do anything that could put our relationship at risk.
I realized how much she values our relationship and the efforts she makes, and I shouldn’t take that for granted.
Practicing patience has helped me foster deeper connections with her and savor the feeling of love.
Being patient allows us to move carefully and thoughtfully as we learn about each other, and it can bring about significant positive changes in a relationship.
2. She taught me to be more responsible.
When you start loving someone, you start to notice their every small action. While this can be good, it can also backfire if you find yourself saying things that your partner doesn’t like, or if they find something in you that they don’t like either.
This can trigger defensive responses, such as “stop being so sensitive,” “I didn’t know you cared about that,” or “you should have said something.”
Such situations can lead to problems in the relationship because they make the other person feel like you are not willing to understand their emotions and are irresponsible towards them.
However, if you take responsibility for leading the relationship toward happiness, you will develop a better understanding of your partner.
People have different ways of expressing their emotions, and sometimes it’s a way that we don’t fully agree with. But they have no intention of hurting us, especially when they are our loved ones.
If it’s just a matter of a different way of expressing emotions, and you understand that, then you are left with no reason to start another conflict.
Take a single mother, for example. If she is a good mom, the trait of acceptance naturally blooms in her.
I learned how to foster the trait of acceptance from her, and I believe that the person who helps you become more empathetic is the right one for you.
3. She indirectly helped me grow in my career.
The right woman for you is the one who helps you become your best self, and everything else is just a reverie.
She won’t demand anything from you. Instead, she will support you in realizing your dreams and encourage you to reach your full potential.
This is exactly what happened to me. I was working but not up to my full potential. I was content with my earnings, but I had dreams and career plans that I wasn’t pursuing.
I was betraying myself by not chasing my goals.
However, my partner’s presence motivated me and her love inspired me to become more productive and turn my career goals into reality.
I didn’t even realize when it happened because she never asked for anything.
I naturally became more responsible and stopped wasting my potential.
Perhaps my desire to see her happy played a role in boosting my career, but it was certainly not possible without her support and guidance.
4. She took care of me
No matter how “Sigma male” one may be, every man desires to be loved and cared for by their partner.
It’s a wonderful feeling when someone understands and takes care of even the smallest things, especially our emotions, and genuinely seeks our happiness.
The best part about making someone feel cared for is that it can only be achieved through actions; mere words won’t have the same impact. These actions are what truly convey how much we value our partner.
Whenever she cooks a special meal, she keeps some for me. If I can’t visit her, she comes to me and brings me the food so I can taste it.
Even a simple message like “Where are you? Take care of yourself, and it’s chilly so wear a jacket when you come to meet me in the evening” always makes me feel good when I receive it from her.
When I also started calling her out of the blue, I could hear the joy in her voice. I could feel her love for me.
All these small gestures have played a huge role in building our relationship.
5. Most importantly, she taught me what love is.
I have witnessed my partner making efforts and taking care of me, doing things to keep me happy.
When someone loves you from the bottom of their heart, you feel compelled to reciprocate with the same depth and prioritize their happiness as well. I have also made her happiness my priority, just as she has done for me.
It is from her that I have learned that keeping a relationship alive requires constant effort. In a long-term relationship, love may begin to fade, and it becomes a couple’s duty to continue working on the relationship, especially during hard times.
Love is a conscious decision, not just a subconscious feeling. It is something that a couple must create and consistently put effort into keeping alive.
At times, we may fall short of keeping our loved ones happy and may even break promises.
However, we must remember that we are not perfect. If we are empathetic and recognize our mistakes, and are willing to accept them and make amends, then we are not failures but victors.
True failure lies in intentionally and repeatedly breaking the heart of our loved ones, being blinded by our ego, and being unable to acknowledge our mistakes. (Note: dishonesty, disloyalty, cheating, and disrespect are not mistakes but sins.)
As she once told me, “We don’t need perfect people, but someone who takes responsibility, emotionally invests in the relationship and contributes equally.”
This idea can be effectively implemented by focusing on our behavior, attitude, and honestly contributing our part, and allowing the other person to do the same. If they are willing, they will reciprocate.
Let them know, but do not demand or force anything. Always listen and understand their perspective and situation.
Remember, in a relationship, the intention behind acts matters more than the outcome.
Related: 5 Challenges Of Being A Single Mother And How To Overcome Them
Being in love with a single mom can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. It’s a chance to build a strong connection with someone who has already proven their strength, resilience, and love.
If you find yourself falling in love with a single mom, know that might just be the best thing that ever happened to you.
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