Have you ever been complimented by someone, but somehow you felt like they were not being genuine, and it also made you feel a little bit uncomfortable? Welcome to the world of fake nice things people say.
When you are given a fake nice compliment, always remember that those kind words that seem so well-intentioned is not really heartfelt and genuine after all.
In this article, we will discuss eight such common examples which will help you realize that compliments can be deceitful, while apologies might not always be sincere. It is like a secret way of saying “I hate you” but in a friendly manner.
Let’s explore the signs of fake nice people and all the fake nice things people say.
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Signs Of Fake Nice People
- Excessive compliments: You will notice that fake nice people will compliment you excessively, which will start to feel forced and insincere after a point.
- Inconsistent behaviour: Their conduct changes according to the company they keep, being very friendly in public and colder in private.
- Lack of genuine interest: They ask personal questions without having any real interest in your answers, often appearing distracted or disengaged.
- Backhanded compliments: This is one of the major warning signs of fake nice people. In their praise, they often have hidden insults or passive-aggressive tones.
- Gossiping: They have a habit speaking negatively behind other people’s back, but will behave in a very friendly manner when they come face-to-face with them.
- Not following through: Fake nice people usually promise or offer help but rarely follow through with what they say they will do.
- Seeking attention: They show kindness and compassion towards others, just so they can have the attention on themselves, and also seek approval from other people.
- Negativity disguised as concern: They make negative comments under the pretence that it is for your own good, with common examples being “just being honest” or “being caring.”
- Selective respect: Another one of the major signs of fake nice people is this. They tend to show respect or kindness only to powerful people from whom they can get something.
- Superficial sympathy: Their expressions of sympathy or empathy often come off as hollow or rehearsed, lacking genuine emotion or understanding.
Now that we have covered the signs of fake nice people, let’s explore what fake nice things people say.
8 Fake Nice Things People Say
1. “Relax. No need to worry so much.”
Wow, thank you for giving me such a priceless and never-before-heard advice.
Encouragements like this that tell you not to worry and be happy may look innocent enough on the surface but it ain’t so. Letting go of your concerns and feeling content happens on its own time. It can’t be forced upon you and you can’t just magically move on from whatever is bothering you.
When someone tells you this, what they are actually doing is projecting their discomfort onto you. They want you to be “fine” because they’re not okay or they don’t really want to console you or be there for you emotionally.
Related: 8 Signs Of A Shady Person In Your Life
2. “How the hell are you still single? It’s shocking!”
One of the most subtle fake nice things people say is this.
“Ummm, I don’t know. Why am I?” you might ask yourself.
If someone says this to you, you will instantly start thinking of your flaws. Are you turning people off? Why are you still alone? The person who makes such a statement, wants you to feel bad about yourself, and think that the problem is in you. But, what do they know?
On one hand, it seems like a compliment that implies that you are desirable and attractive; on the other hand, it subtly suggests that something must be wrong with you to still be single.
3. “Don’t think so much, you will be fine.”
This is probably one of the most dismissive things fake nice people can say to you when you’re going through something painful and traumatic.
Instead of supporting you, they want you to move on before you’re ready, so that they don’t have to deal with your emotions.
Remember, you have every right to deal with your feelings on your own time, and what others are telling you doesn’t always have to matter. No one can rush back into normalcy when they aren’t ready.
The true friend who’s not trying to control you will listen to you during your time of need – they won’t just brush you off like others will.
4. “Are you sure you want to go ahead with it?”
What is positioned as innocent advice in this statement might actually be shade thrown at you, in an attempt to discourage you from doing something you have been planning to do for a long time, maybe you were even very excited about it.
There is a lot of doubt in this question, and it’s only motive is to make you double-guess and question your choice.
“Should I do this?” you’ll ask yourself. Well, here’s what I’d do – pay no attention to the such fake nice people, have faith in yourself, and keep it moving.
Related: How To Spot A Frenemy: 9 Signs Of A Fake Friend
5. “Well, I am just trying to look out for you. I am just being honest!”
One of the major warning signs of fake nice people right here, my friend!
If someone starts with a statement like “Please don’t mind, but I just wanted to be honest”, be ready to feel insulted. More often than not, it’s a preface to a hurtful or critical comment.
Sure, honesty is important, but genuine people know how to communicate their thoughts without being rude, insensitive, or callous.
The thing is if a person claims “to be honest” at the cost of your feelings and emotions, they are really not as kind as they are pretending to be. Because the truth is, genuinely kind people will never go out of their way to hurt someone to make their point, they will do so with sensitivity, understanding and empathy.
6. “I don’t mean to brag, but…”
This is one of those glaring fake nice things people say to make you feel like s***.
Whenever you hear someone start a sentence with this phrase, be mindful that all they’re going to do is boast about themselves, but will pretend to be humble while doing it. It’s a sneaky way of seeking praise without appearing too self-centred.
However, don’t be fooled – real humility doesn’t have to come with a disclaimer attached. Always remember that people who are genuinely nice and humble will never boast about themselves unnecessarily.
7. “I would love to do it for you, but then you will also have to do something for me.”
This is a dead giveaway of fake nice people, and is probably one of the one of the most toxic fake nice things people say.
When someone says this to you, remember that they are looking for a conditional relationship, and whatever they will do for you will always come with strings attached. This is a huge red flag because they are probably using “nice” and “kind” language to manipulate you.
I’m from the school of thought where, you do things for people because you want to do it and not because you want something in return, or want them to feel indebted to you.
Related: 10 Types Of Toxic People You Need To Avoid In Your Life
8. “It doesn’t seem like he/she cares about you too much, but trust me, I do.”
Someone who truly loves you and cares about you will never go out of their way to make you feel bad about yourself, and place seeds of mistrust about people who are close to you.
Fake nice people have the tendency to isolate you from everyone, so that you only turn to them during your hour of need, and in the process, also become very emotionally dependent on them.
Anyone who makes a statement like this, be very wary of them, and don’t trust them too easily.
Takeaway
That’s that! If you often hear these fake nice things people say from someone close to you, there is a strong chance they may not be as kind-hearted as they seem.
Remember that true kindness is silent and real, and if someone is genuinely kind, they won’t have to hide behind meaningless words – it will always be sincere. So listen keenly with your instincts wide awake!
Related: How Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Toxic People: 13 Smart Ways
Have you ever noticed these signs of fake nice people? Fake nice things people say – have you ever been on the other side of these phrases? Let us know in the comments down below!
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