Melodramatic Vampires also love seeking out crises because it gives them a reason to feel victimized (thus special and in need of love), an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and avoidance from life’s real issues. Another reason why Melodramatic Vampires enjoy creating drama is that the negative emotions that they feed off are addictive (such as anger).
How to nurture your energy: Refuse to take sides or be involved in the Melodramatic Vampire’s pot-stirring. Pay attention to the patterns in their behavior and the triggers that make you want to get involved. Create distance and cut them out of your life if possible.
5. The Judgemental Vampire
Due to their severely low self-worth, the Judgmental Energy Vampire loves to pick on other people. Their treatment of other people is merely a reflection of how they treat themselves. Judgmental Vampires enjoy preying on your insecurities and bolstering their egos by making you feel small, pathetic, or ashamed.
How to nurture your energy: Remember that true self-worth must come from within. Refuse to take what the Judgemental Vampire says personally. Be aware of their deeper pain and their need to feel good about themselves. When you get defensive, you lose. Keep a balanced head, and try being sweet to them (that really throws them off balance!). Reduce, or cut off contact with them if possible.
6. The Innocent Vampire
Energy Vampires aren’t always malicious, as in the case of Innocent Vampires. Sometimes they can be helpless types of people who genuinely need help such as children or good friends who come to rely on you too much.
It’s good that you help those you care about, but it’s also important that you encourage them to be self-sufficient. Playing the role of the constant “rock” or support will eventually erode away your energy. As a result, you’ll have little energy to support yourself.
How to nurture your energy: Helping those in need is a display of compassion and love, but you also need to remember to love yourself. Gently remind the Innocent Vampire in your life that you need time to yourself as well. Encourage them to develop strength, fortitude, and resilience so that you can remove the role of constant caretaker or giver.
How to Identify the Energy Vampire
So how can you know whether you’re dealing with an energy vampire or not?
You’ll likely experience feeling:
- Physically ill (e.g., headaches, body aches, etc.)
- Mentally or physically exhausted
- Irritable and/or anxious
You may notice that most Energy Vampires display many of the following characteristics:
- Big ego, e.g., love to debate, argue and pick fights
- Aggressive or passive-aggressive tendencies
- Resentment and anger issues
- Melodramatic behavior
- Whining and complaining
- Bitching and gossiping
- Insecurity, e.g., the constant need for reassurance and acceptance.
- Manipulative behaviors, e.g., guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, etc.
Energy vampires tend to take more than giving. They use others for their own means without really considering how the other person is feeling.
It’s also important to understand that Energy Vampires are not always necessarily human beings.
They can also be situations or even physical objects in your life. Examples include:
- The internet
- The TV
- Other electronic devices (e.g., the radio, mobile phone, etc.)
- Public situations (e.g., crowds, parties, train stations, shopping centers, etc.)
- Animals (e.g., neurotic pets)
When all is said and done, however, the hardest Energy Vampires to handle are those within your own family or friendship circle. How can we regain our vitality in such energy-sucking relationships?
10 Ways to Cope With Energy Vampires
Here are some empowering ways to handle Energy Vampires:
1. Stop making prolonged eye-contact
One of the biggest energy absorbers out there is eye contact. The more eye-contact you make, the more you engage with the other person and what they have to say. Only occasional eye-contact is necessary with Energy Vampires, otherwise, you’re giving them direct access to one of your most precious and limited resources (energy).
2. Set a time limit
Your time is precious as well, and it’s not necessary for you to sit around for 1 or 2 hours having your energy zapped and brain numbed. According to your energy level, set a limit of 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes where you can give your focus to the person, and no more.
3. Learn not to react
This is crucial. The Energy Vampire feeds off your reactions, fueling them to continue interacting with you. It’s important for you to learn how to be neutral in your interactions with EV’s, meaning that you should carefully monitor how you feel and prevent yourself from expressing overly positive or negative emotions.
Too much emotion will let them sink their fangs into you even more (it’s irresistible). Learning not to react is also known as the grey rock method in which you make yourself so boring and uninteresting that the other person loses interest in you.