What is actually haunting you inside
The reason why you feel like a stranger to yourself is actually simple. There is only one real reason for feeling empty: a lack of LOVE. Every other reason that you can come up with for feeling lost inside is in some way or the other associated with the lack of love in your life.
If you are struggling with a feeling of emptiness, then it can be traced back to the complex issues in your intimate relationships. It may be that your parents did not love you as much as you needed or maybe you lost someone who loved you very much or something else entirely. Love and attention help improve our self-esteem and make us feel important and wanted. And when that love is lacking in our lives we start feeling we are not good enough. Hence, we go through the journey of life with a lot of emotional baggage that makes it even harder than it needs to be.
So the real reason for your chronic inner emptiness is a serious lack of emotional connection and a lack of display of love. But it’s not the lack of love from someone else that’s making you feel empty. It’s a lack of SELF LOVE that causes an emptiness. When you stop loving yourself and abandon yourself that’s when you experience inner emptiness.
You are causing your own emptiness
When you criticize and judge yourself, talk yourself down, ignore your feelings, avoid your passions, numb your emotions with addictions, stay inside your head, and believe others are responsible for loving you and making you happy, you will feel a deep void inside that no one else can fill but you.
Self-abandonment is the cause of your own inner emptiness. You are the cause. You make yourself believe you are unlovable, unimportant, inadequate, worthless and not good enough. You have made yourself believe that you’re flawed and you don’t deserve to be loved.
Reasons why you feel empty
Let’s break down the causes for your emptiness to gain a better understanding about why you’re feeling empty and lost in life.
1. You don’t understand yourself
“One must know oneself. If this does not serve to discover truth, it at least serves as a rule of life and there is nothing better.” – Pensées, Blaise Pascal
Do you know who you are? When you are unable to know yourself it can lead to feelings of emptiness. Failing to understand who you wish to be as a person and what you want in life can make you lose touch with your inner self. This leads you to feel that life lacks meaning and you are drifting through life without any purpose.
2. You are detached from others
When you fail to build any meaningful relationships in life, romantic or otherwise, you start feeling distraught and lonely. It makes you feel isolated even if you are surrounded by others.
According to the 2003 study ‘Gratitude and Happiness: Development of a Measure of Gratitude, and Relationships with Subjective Well Being’ by Watkins, Woodward, Stone & Kolts, relationships are the most important factors for happiness. As the quality of your relationships matters more than the quantity, a lack of intimacy in relationships, rather than a lack of relationships, can make you feel lonely.
3. You’re unable to move on from your past
When there are unanswered and unresolved issues from your past, certain uncomfortable feelings will linger for a long time. Your inability to make peace with your past will add to your feelings of emptiness and purposelessness. When a relationship ends, like a loss or a divorce or a breakup, most of us are unable to get closure. Moreover, the failure of an important relationship can leave a huge void in our lives, especially when we believe the relationship was tied to our identity. Now when the relationship is over and the person is gone, we feel lost and don’t know who we are without it.