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Emotional Abuse and Sociopaths

Normal and Chaos or Trouble Make Us Bond More Deeply

Being in love with a sociopath isn’t a casual connection. We’re deeply all-the-way in. We want the fairy tale to stay perfect. We hang on tenaciously even as we feel it shifting under our feet. We’re worried about connecting on a deeper level, maybe going to counseling together.

Concern about maintaining a home, paying bills, not wanting to break-up a family or fearing for our own future all keep us “in”. The things that string us along are subtle and hard to grab a hold of; sociopaths trap us in ordinary conversation by activating our normal emotional responses.

As decent, normal human beings when someone talks we feel we’re meant to listen. When someone asks a question we’re socially, culturally and innately programmed to give an answer. Never diminish the complete wrongness of any abuse. – Sociopaths are naturals at it because they don’t value us, or care for us. There’s no human connection.

Read 8 Evasion Tactics Narcissists Use To Stop You From Questioning Them

Narcissistic Users, Sociopaths Don’t Care Which Emotion Hooks Us

Our response to their actions is a sign we’re hooked. That’s all they need.

1. Emotional Distractions:

– Humiliating us.

– Laughing at us.

– Putting us down.

– Calling us names.

– Making us feel guilty.

– Diminishing our feelings.

– Making us think we’re crazy.

– The silent treatment, ignoring us.

– Taking things, plans or privileges away.

– Treating us very well (only) in front of other people.

– Accusing and blaming us for things going wrong or failing.

– Comparing us to their last girlfriend or wife, who did things better.

2. Intimidation and Isolation:

– Making us afraid by using looks or gestures.

– Slamming doors, breaking things, throwing things.

– Yelling, scolding, ordering or driving us to do or not do something.

– Talking about killing and violence. Displaying weapons or physical force in any way.

– Telling us who our friends can be.

– Trying to keep us from family members.

– Creating an “us” and “them” existence.

– Acting jealous of our time, people we see.

– Using his jealousy to justify control of us.

– Manipulating where we go, when we must be home.

– Rules about or insinuating when we should or shouldn’t go out.

– Controlling anything: what we read, watch, social media, phone time.

– Avoiding meeting or seeing our family. Keeping us from their family.

– Having friends they won’t let us meet, places they won’t let us go with them.

– Having a friend who is held up as having the authority of opinion about our relationship.

A Narcissist Will Blame You For So Many Things
Emotional Abuse and Sociopaths

3. Minimizing, Denying and Blaming:

– Belittling our ideas, feelings, opinions.

– Denying that things important to us, matter.

– Dismissing or ignoring or making fun of or being angered at what’s important to us.

– Setting us up to think everything is our fault.

– (Faking) illness to keep from talking about our concerns.

– Insulting how we take care of the home, kids or spend our time.

– Telling us it’s our fault they’re mean, or that things are going wrong.

– Using intimidation or belittling to keep us quiet about what concerns us.

Read Why Do Narcissists Behave The Way They Do

4. Coercion and Threats:

– Threatening to commit suicide.

– Threats to report us to authorities.

– Making us drop charges against them.

– Sociopaths pretend illness to control us.

– Making or carrying out threats to harm, hurt or leave us.

– Telling us we get something only if we do something specific.

– Coercing us or charming us to do illegal or reprehensible things.

“Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke.”

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Jennifer Smith - True Love Scam Recovery

Jennifer Smith founded True Love Scam Recovery in encouragement and support of those hijacked by a sociopath in a true love scam after marrying and escaping one herself. 'The Sociopath's Scam - It Isn't Personal' in Shahida Arabi, 'Becoming the Narcissists Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself'.View Author posts