3. Maintain Your Own Integrity.
This lack of closure is especially hard if the two of you have children together, and will be amplified if your ex has an agenda to disparage you in front of the kids or maintain a blaming stance. You worry about how your kids will handle that, or is there a way to mitigate any damage done by your ex.
If it’s a friendship or familial relationship that has deteriorated, it can feel awkward to maintain other shared relationships. You may choose to let some go, as others may feel the need to “take sides.” The loss of the bond can alter the dynamics of the larger friend group or family situation. You may have to set a boundary.
You can grow to trust that who you are will shine through. Be mindful of your own integrity and don’t be controlled by what your ex is doing or saying.
Guide your own life in a way that reflects your values. Your children will learn. Your friends will take sides or they won’t. If your biological family is not available, you can create your own family full of people you choose to have in your life.
4. Make Sure You’re Moving Through Your Own Feelings.
It’s hard enough when relationships end that you’ve valued or worked hard on. Add a lack of closure to that picture, and it can cause more complicated grief. As in all grief, try to notice whether or not you’re moving through all the emotions of loss: denial, anger, fear, sadness. But take time to grieve.
You can give yourself closure. And you can move on. Whatever shame or anger or disappointment you feel, you can let go.
Written By Margaret Rutherford Originally Appeared On Dr. Margaret Rutherford