8 Levels of Disclosure That’ll Help You Connect With Others

8 Levels of Disclosure That'll Help You Connect With Others

Level 5: Universally Acceptable Personal Disclosures: 

  1. “I was in a costume store the other day and I had no idea what half the kids’ costumes were. The guy who worked there told me they were Fortnite characters. I feel so old.”
  2. “I took my niece to the aquarium on Saturday and was mesmerized by the penguins. I could have stared at them for an hour.”
  3. “I went to Costco on Sunday afternoon and it was so crazy that when I got home, I had to lie down.”

Level 6: Private Personal Disclosures: 

  1. “I’m having trouble with my 8-year old talking back–I’ve tried everything and I’m not sure what to do next.” 
  2. “I have to give a presentation in twenty minutes and I feel like I’m going to throw up. I’m gonna go lock myself in a bathroom stall and breathe for a few minutes.”
  3. “Argh, I’m so mad at our boss–listen to what she said to me!”

Related: 50 Questions To Ask Yourself To Know Your Deepest Insecurities

Level 7: Vulnerable Private Personal Disclosures

  1. “I think I need to quit drinking.”
  2. “I thought losing 50 pounds last year would magically solve all my problems, but I still feel lousy.”
  3. “I really like you.”

Level 8: Deepest Disclosures

  1. “I’ve never said this to anyone before, but…”
  2. “I can’t do this anymore.”
  3. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

How deep you go with pretty much anyone else is up to you. As long as it’s reciprocal and you’re both at roughly the same level of sharing, you can feel safe trying out the next level. Far from coming off as annoying, you’ll come off as open, honest, and friendly. You’ll feel more connected. And who knows, you might even get an equivalent disclosure in return. 

Let me know how it goes! 

Related: How to Discover Your Deepest, Darkest Core Wound

Do you want to conquer social anxiety and want to be your true self? Then, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety, would be the best book to read.


Written by Ellen Hendriksen
Originally appeared on Ellen Hendriksen
Republished with permission
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Ellen Hendriksen

DR. ELLEN HENDRIKSEN is a clinical psychologist who helps millions calm their anxiety and be their authentic selves. She serves on the faculty at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD) and is the author of HOW TO BE YOURSELF: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. Her scientifically-based, zero-judgment approach has been featured in New York Magazine, The Guardian, Harvard Business Review, Scientific American, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, Business Insider, Psychology Today, Tonic, Quiet Revolution, and many other media outlets.View Author posts