By staying out of trouble you can avoid more trouble. And the child learns attention becomes trouble. Thus avoidance becomes a preferred method/way of life. If the child relies too heavily on avoidance as their everything, they end up in the workplace as a Floater, afraid for the rest of their lives.
8. Unknowing Pawn
Unaware and Unprepared for the ill will and experience of a Egopath, they are easy prey to persuade/dupe into lending a “helping” hand.
In reality, pawns aid in gaslighting a victim that: it’s really the victim that is the problem, after all, Egopath said so. It’s far too common for Therapists in Couple Therapy to be tricked and take the side of a monster while further victimizing the abused much to the victim’s own horror.
Unknowing Pawns are always guilty of not asking and/or hearing both sides of the story. They never seem to question the Egopath regarding their side of the story because they are incapable of reserving judgment.
Even Empaths fall into this trap. Without prior knowledge or experiencing or witnessing the abuse firsthand, they’ll foolishly give the benefit of the doubt that what the misunderstood Egopath did was “necessary evil” or worse, try to get you to empathize with your abuser: “what would you do in their position?”. Unsuspecting Empath parents are not immune to being won over by the Egopath dating their child. Or an Egopath in a profession giving “expert” advice.
Preventing yourself from becoming an Unknowing Pawn in someone’s Game of Control ALWAYS comes down to the same thing. Don’t give the benefit of the doubt to anyone. When you give the benefit of the doubt over someone else, you rob that someone else of a fair trial.
Giving the benefit of the doubt is the same as making an uninformed decision. Don’t leave your reasoning power to chance, stop giving the benefit of the doubt, and start reserving your judgment.
You need to develop a skill set that consists of gathering evidence and relying on evidence. Asking questions and requesting evidence is a great start and will deter manipulators. In time, you may stop being approached altogether because “you ask too many questions” or “you have a negative attitude”. This is code for a manipulator admitting: I can’t manipulate you.
As some of you may have already guessed, you are enforcing The Burden of Proof. You are ensuring the party that makes a claim is responsible for supporting it with evidence. You will no longer fall for Hearsay.
When evidence no longer matters in legal systems expect the law to be subject to the whims of those with power. It’s no different when it comes down to your mind being subjected to the whims of those with power. Evidence matters.
If claims were accepted without evidence, then every claim could simultaneously be claimed to be true. While human minds generally don’t act this way they do end up compensating in an even worse way… Once a belief is set and a contradictory claim is made, usually, the original belief is upheld as the truth and the very reason to dismiss the contradictory belief.
This works in a manipulator’s favor when they’ve been Poisoning the Well. It works because people like Unknowing Pawns don’t reserve judgment, they’re too busy trusting their feelings how they feel about you without ever considering the evidence as important.
Feelings that are fueled by all the lies they believe, yeah, you aren’t going to convince them, only confirm what they already “know” (they strongly believe it and feel they know) with their ever-expanding case of confirmation bias.
These are your typical enablers who make excuses on behalf of the Egopath to Go Along to Get Along. These Sheeple are destructively conditioned by an Egopath to never criticize or question their glorious leader whose word is law and fact and the gospel truth! Why? Duh, The Egopath said so! Flawless circular logic, mmmhmmm.