By naming your ego, you’ve separated from it. Now you’ll see the ego coming and going. You’ll be surprised just how often it comes and how quickly it goes. This is an observation stage. Practice this stage for at least 2 weeks.
You may have major breakthroughs during this stage.
With time you’ll not only be aware of your ego, but you’ll also know what situations to expect your ego to be triggered. This expanded awareness allows you to see past the ego and to choose a response more aligned with your authentic self.
Step 4: Meet the Triggered Ego
Do not begin these steps until you have done step 2 for at least two weeks.
What is a trigger? A trigger is an emotional response not equal to the event.
For example, Your sister says “You look tired” at a family get-together. You respond sarcastically: “Of course I look tired I’ve been working 60 hours a week and raising a child. Must be nice to have tons of free time. Don’t worry, next time I’ll be out of a Cosmopolitan magazine.”
What her sister said objectively: “You look tired.”
What the ego heard: “She’s always so rude and condescending to you. It’s because she’s been jealous of you your whole life. Now she thinks she’s little miss hotshot.”
The ego is a master storyteller. It has thousand and thousand of emotional events and experiences logged that you can’t even consciously remember. This story serves to protect you, but it always keeps you tied to your past experiences.
Notice the next time you are triggered. You will know you are triggered when you have a faster heartbeat, you feel like yelling/shutting down, or have a feeling you might ‘lose’ it.
Here are the prompts:
1. I felt the emotion of _________ when triggered.
2. I felt the emotion of _________ when ______________________.
3. The event of _________ means ___________________ to me.
Here is an example:
- I felt the emotion of anger when triggered.
- I felt the emotion of anger when my husband left the dishes in the sink.
- The event of leaving the dishes in the sink means that I am not worthy of consideration.
Ok, so now you understand that the objective reality was that dishes were left in the sink. This caused the emotion of anger because of an underlying belief that I am not worthy of consideration.
Here, the ego felt a core emotion (unworthiness.) This was painful, and since you’ve never learned to process emotion, the ego came to project it outwards. Your ego prefers to dump emotions on others, rather than feel a painful emotion within yourself.
Related: Ego, Enlightenment And Pain
Step 5: Appreciate and Accept the Ego
This step takes a lot of practice. This will not come intuitively to you, so you’ll have to repeat it many times before it feels natural.
Here are the prompts:
- I appreciate that my ego came to protect me from (emotion felt during trigger)
- It is ok for me to experience (new emotion you want to feel)
- I no longer have to attach events in my life to meanings of (emotion felt during trigger)
- I am (affirm new emotion)
This is how it will look:
- I appreciate that my ego came to protect me from unworthiness.
- It is OK for me to experience worthiness.
- I no longer have to attach events in my life to meanings of unworthiness
- I am worthy
Step 6 (advanced/optional)
Watch a YouTube video of something that is the polar opposite of your viewpoint. Sit with the emotions it brings up. Allow yourself to listen to the words objectively. See if you can hear beyond your emotional response. This practice is very transformative.
I know I threw a lot at you. I know that this might feel overwhelming. Or, like it ‘won’t work’ or you’re not capable, or you just simply don’t want to. Your ego has been challenged, so you might have some major resistance coming up. Allow yourself to just see the resistance.
This work is difficult. It is life-changing. Commit to it because you deserve to be free.
Written By Nicole LePera
Originally Appeared In The Holistic Psychologist
Ego work is a tremendous and amazing tool when it comes to dealing with an overwhelmed and tired consciousness. This will help you process all your negative emotions in a healthier and more positive manner, and most importantly, it will help you in accepting yourself just the way you are.
If you want to know more about ego work, then check this video out below: