Is He Attracted To You, Or Does He Just Want To Objectify And Use You?

Is He Attracted To You

2. A mature individual will be attracted to you for the subtle or abstract details of your whole personality — not just one aspect.

When a person seems exclusively attracted to or focused upon concrete details that can be experienced as separate from the whole personality, this should be a big red flag.

For instance, if someone seems particularly focused on the way you look in a certain heeled shoe, this can be separated from you as a person — anyone can wear this shoe. If, on the other hand, they compliment you on the way your love of skiing has created great tone in your legs that are shown off in your new heels — they are appreciating you as a person with likes and particularities that make you an individual.

Watch out this video to know the signs that your partner is using you:

3. A mature individual will also talk about other people as whole individuals.

They will not tend to see the world in black or white — they will be able to talk about their boss, family, or friends as having good and bad traits.

A person who objectifies will tend to see some people as all good and others as all bad and will talk about other people in their lives in fairly shallow terms.

4. Someone who objectifies will tend to have a lesser capacity for true empathy.

This is because when we see others as whole people, we also can see through their eyes, appreciate how they are different from us, and recognize their likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses.

These capacities are associated with empathy with another person’s point of view. If you are dating someone who does not seem to be able to empathize with you or with others, you may want to pay closer attention to their relationship to your body as well.

They may show you other signs of objectification.

Related: Want A Satisfying Relationship? Don’t Present Yourself as a Sex Object

5. Someone who objectifies will take short-lived if intense, pleasure in a look, body part, or sexual experience.

Objectified pleasure does not extend into a true appreciation that can lead to appreciation and pleasure in the subtler dimensions of your body or intimate experience.

Again, this goes back to the way that objectification is about fulfilling an immediate need. Once that need is satiated, the subject’s attention tends to move on to something else — the next need on the horizon.

Remember, most people do not fit into extremes — either all objectification or none.

Instead, pay attention to the trends in your relationship. And most importantly, pay attention to how you feel!

When someone is objectifying you, you are likely to feel less appreciated. Your own pleasure may feel shallow or short-lived. You may notice your attention drifting, your mind wandering, wondering what your partner is feeling. You will tend to feel less genuinely connected if objectification is present.

What other signs of objectification do you know? Leave a comment below.

For many years, women are valued for their physical appearance and it has been the patriarchal norm. In relationships when one has a view of others as a trophy or object, it can be a cause of unhappiness and psychological damage. Objectification within a relationship is a serious red flag and sometimes the signs of objectifying are deeply hidden.


Written By Dr. Perrin Elisha
Originally Appeared On YourTango
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Is He Attracted To You, Or Does He Just Want To Objectify And Use You?
Is He Attracted To You pin
Is He Attracted To You, Or Does He Just Want To Objectify And Use You?
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