When we break up it is not the specific person we miss, not their features per say and not their voice and not the size of their hands but rather the way they made us feel. Even when it is sometimes bad.
When we break up we long for that loving feeling, the passion, the talks, the thrill of going to see them or going out with them, the way you spend time around each other, how you fight and make up, how looking at each other would say it all, how it hurts when they do or say the wrong thing, how you need them to comfort you after a long bad day, how you dream of a lifetime with them….
We miss our life with them but certainly it is not just them.
Even the sound of it is deeper.
Breakups are not only about relationships and love affairs, but all other elements we attach to which may have an immense effect on our lives. Losing someone to death, a dear friend moving out of the country, the thought of quitting your job, your kids growing up and detaching from you, even the maid who decides to marry and stop working for you.
All that accountability and emotional connection that grants us some balance and comfort. That melancholic feeling of breaking up with balance and comfort can be wrecking.
The pain of a breakup is over only when we stop reminiscing, when we lose the memory or replace it with a much stronger and more lasting ones; but it’s never easy…. the bigger and deeper the life you had with them, the harder it is get all of that out of your memory and reset your system. The strong the feelings they give you, the more this challenge can ruin your life… A consuming process that may kill you, suck the life out of you and turn you into a zombie.
Then and again all we may need is to get a little dose of how it used to feel and go back to them saying….
“I don’t miss you, I miss my life with you. I miss the person that I become when I am around you. I miss that dream I had of us. I miss US”.
A few moments later you realize you have missed your turn and that you better snap out of this self indulging stream of thoughts, get back to work and just deal with it!!!!
After all you only get to chose between drowning in a breakup or suffocating in a relationship!