We are all still responsible for managing our feelings. We are all still responsible for our happiness. We are all even still responsible for our finances, though the circumstances are out of our control. Most of all, we are all responsible for each other because we’re accountable to each other. Those of us who don’t understand this will put ourselves through unnecessarily harder times.
In her book, “Women Who Run With The Wolves”, Clarissa Pinkola Estes talks about the instinctive nature of women.
“The cure for the naive woman and the instinct-injured woman is the same: Practice listening to your intuition, your inner voice; ask questions; be curious; see what you see; hear what you hear, and then act on what you know to be true…by retrieving these powers from the shadows of our psyches, we shall not be victims of internal or external circumstances.”
3. The Covid-19 pandemic still isn’t the time to romanticize suffering.
Your life isn’t a complete failure. Things weren’t better with the love you lost. Enduring damage to your self-worth is not better than where you are now. Having your growth and freedom stifled is not better than where you are now. Being shown minimal effort is not better than where you are now.
I know it feels like anything is better than where you are. You beat yourself up for holding on to memories. You can go through a terrible break-up and still care about your partner.
Maybe it’s time to process your emotions by asking, “What do the things I love about (insert person’s name here) say about me and what I want?” Alternatively, “What do the things I hate about (insert person’s name here) say about me and what I don’t want?”
Be honest here. It’s a slow road to healing when you hide your truth.
You can appreciate the space you are in while still remembering the people and experiences that brought you here. You don’t have to choose.
One day, you’ll find that your gaze looks more ahead and a lot less backward.
Feel the ache of letting go of the person, things or life, you loved or still love.
Feel the frustration for the person that is a constant annoying part of your life.
Feel the warmth you had with the person who left or that you left.
Those memories aren’t going to hurt you, they may singe, they may rip your flesh to the bones, but they aren’t going to really hurt you.
This still isn’t the time to accept people’s toxic behavior, but maybe it will be just enough to open our eyes, ears, and hearts to see, hear, and feel the people who have been invisible to us.