Does Your Relationship Have IDD? 10 Early Warning Signals and Steps To Heal

 

Step Six:

Propose that you each agree to set aside some time within the next few days to be together without any distractions for at least a couple of hours without any agenda other than to share an experience that you both enjoy, such as taking a walk, enjoying a meal together, cuddling in bed or on the sofa, taking a bike ride together, dancing, or any activity that brings pleasure to you both.

Note: this is not intended to be a time to “work on your relationship” or deal with any unresolved issues, but rather, a time to experience ease, pleasure, and enjoyment together. If any difficulties or issues arise, agree to put them aside for the time being and try to come to an agreement about a time at which you can address them.

Do NOT include anyone else in this experience.

Keep in mind that working out the differences that impair emotional intimacy requires skill, sensitivity, honesty, practice, and the courage to be vulnerable and non-defensive. By all means, do the best that you can do to work things out together, but if your efforts fail to bring about the outcome that you desire, consider getting professional help rather than giving up or continuing to interact in ways that are damaging the relationship.

Most situations, even those that are long-standing and entrenched, can be worked out if there is a willingness to do the work that is required. The earlier the intervention is in the breakdown, the less time it takes to successfully repair the damage.

When each person is willing to do their part to clean up the areas of neglect of the relationship, the results of their efforts can seem miraculous. Relationships can be transformed when the light of the truth is shined upon the darkness of neglect and both partners begin to experience the pleasure that has been absent from their relationship once again.

The benefits of healing IDD can last a lifetime and can mean the difference between living in a tolerable arrangement or a loving, thriving, and joy-filled partnership.

Think about it. And then do something!

 

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Written by Linda and Charlie Bloom
This post is a compilation of 2 posts on Psychology Today

Does your Relationship Have IDD?
Does Your Relationship have IDD? Part 2

You may also like:

6 Sad Ways You End Up Ruining The Intimacy In Your Relationship
3 Subconscious Reasons Why We Fear Intimacy In Relationships
2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In The Relationship We Want
The Subconscious Tendency That Erodes Intimacy In Every Relationship

Does Your Relationship Have IDD? 10 early Warning Signals & Steps To Reverse It
Does Your Relationship Have IDD? 10 early Warning Signals and Steps To Reverse It

Does Your Relationship Have IDD? 10 early Warning Signals & Steps To Reverse It
Does Your Relationship Have IDD? 10 early Warning Signals and Steps To Reverse It

Linda and Charlie Bloom
Linda Bloom, LCSW and Charlie Bloom, MSW have been trained as psychotherapists and relationship counselors and have worked with individuals, couples, groups, and organizations since 1975. They have lectured and taught at universities and learning institutes throughout the USA, including the Esalen Institute, the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, 1440 Multiversity, and many others.  They have taught seminars in many countries throughout the world. They have co-authored four books, 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last, Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truth From Real Couples About Lasting Love, Happily Ever After And 39 Other Myths About Love, and That Which Doesn't Kill Us: How One Couple Became Stronger at the Broken Places. They have been married since 1972 and are the parents of two adult children and three grandsons. Linda and Charlie live in Santa Cruz, California. Their website is www.bloomwork.com

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