6 Ways To Tell A Relationship Has What It Takes

6 Ways to Tell a Relationship Has What It Takes

Authentic lovers who may experience criticism from their friends or families can either try to change the mores of their current social circles or realize they might need a new and different support group.

Those challenges only serve to make them more determined to live in the present and to leave old relationships behind.

Authentic love creates opportunities for adventures that have not existed before.

Its partners are totally committed to love in a courageous and genuine way. They have entered that new relationship with the full commitment to explore and learn, and are open to whatever comes.

6. Transparency

Transparency is the willingness and commitment to be deeply known and to want to know the other in the same way.

Transparency and true intimacy are inextricably intertwined and nourish each other’s existence. Authentic love depends upon each partner’s courage to be fully open and honest with another, whatever the outcome. They would rather know the depths of exactly who each other is at his or her core than pretend anything other than that reality.

Authentic lovers delve deeply into each other’s expectations, desires, and fears early on in the relationship. They try early on to separate out what is possible from what is not, and to decide together how to invest in what works for both of them.

Fantasy love is based upon untested, often inaccurate expectations that a new partner will feel and act as the fantasy dictates. Because of childhood programming, many people do not realize that its automatic practice defies the possibility of success.

Read How to Know When to End a Relationship That is Making You Miserable

People continue to enter new relationships with these internalized fantasies, searching for the security and comfort of familiarity. They are counting on a “just” world: If they do what is expected of them, the other will certainly behave as expected. When their relationships end in failure, they naturally assume that they didn’t pick the right partners.

People who instead seek authentic love know that successful relationships can never be based upon fantasy expectations.

What is possible changes with each new relationship, as the partners within it create what can only happen uniquely between them in those special moments in time.

Though they know that the honesty and courage inherent in genuine communication requires them to take on a continuous challenge, they would not have it any other way.


Written By: Randi Gunther Ph.D.
Originally appeared in PsychologyToday
Republished with permission

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