2. Educate yourself.
Learn and understand what depression is and how it is playing out for you or your partner. Depression is an illness, it doesn’t have to have a specific reason to be present, though it can, however, it does probably mean that there will need to be some changes made for you or in your relationship.
Read about depression, find your resources, talk to a counselor, friends, and family who know and love you and your partner. Doctors will be able to shed some light and understanding on what your partner is experiencing. Remember that none of us can get through it alone and be open to learning.
3. Be patient.
Depression in relationships requires patience on all sides and from all angles. Your partner will be working really hard to get healthy and get to a place that is good for the relationship, even though it may not always look like it.
Give them time and talk about where they are at, how you can help and how you will be able to move forward through these challenges together. If and when they are short with you, don’t take it personally, it is most likely the depression speaking not necessarily them, challenging to separate but really helpful if you can.
4. Take care of yourself and your partner.
When someone is sick, they need extra TLC, (Tender, Loving, Care) and that is soo true in the case of depression as well. Let your partner know that you are there to help them through this challenge in whatever way you can. If intimacy is a difficulty at this point, work to have some other form of physical contact without the expectations of sex.
Try, when you can to help out around the house, and if they do something, notice and pay attention as this will probably have a lot of meaning to a depressed partner who may feel undervalued and guilty for even having depression. One could also think about this as self-care for the couple.
5. Be present.
When depression hits relationships it’s important to show that you are there for your partner. Reassurance of a secure attachment will help your partner move to a place of increasing confidence, healing and that you will be there for them, through thick and thin. Letting them know that you are not “taking off” as noted above, an intense fear of abandonment and that they will lose the relationship or “ruining” the relationship can come up.
Talk to your partner, tell them that you are there for them, send messages, whatever it is that you can do, and reassure them, it will mean a tremendous amount to your partner with depression.
Therapy Can Be A Lifeline
A lot of what I have described above is pretty intense and it’s important to keep in mind that there are varying levels of severity when it comes to any health issue and this is true in the case of depression as well. However, if you or someone you love is suffering from depression and a lot of what I have described above resonates with you, then therapy might just be that lifeline you need to help you or your partner swim to safety.
It’s been a tough year to connect with a therapist that is right for you, but there are some options out there. I have teamed up with an organization called Online-Therapy.com where you can connect with a therapist confidentially from anywhere in the world virtually. You can get more information by clicking on the link above, where you will also receive 20% off through my affiliate link.