When Depression Is a Symptom of Buried Anger: Here’s How To Heal It

When Depression Is a Symptom of Buried Anger

Sometimes guilty feelings make it hard to validate and fully experience anger. In the beginning, when David first started to connect with his inner rage, another guilty part of him would leap up and stop the anger from coming up: “But they did so much for me. I’m so grateful for all the good things they did.”

There’s so much emphasis on gratitude these days that it is important to know that we can hold opposite and conflicting truths at the same time. “David,” I said during one session, “let’s fully validate the gratitude and love you have for your parents, and, for just right now, can we ask for the gratitude, love, and any other feelings you have to step back while we tend to the anger inside?”

Read The Shortest Ultimate Guide To Dealing With Emotions

Rage portrayals work because, as research shows, when it comes to processing emotions, the brain doesn’t really know the difference between fantasy and reality. Imagining what our rage wants to do and then carrying that out in fantasy allows the energy of the rage to come up and out. No longer are forces required to hold down that anger, so energy becomes available again for vital living. The best part about anger portrayals is that no one gets hurt because it’s all happening in imagination.

under the anger
When Depression Is a Symptom of Buried Anger: Here's How To Heal It

Depression is the beginning of a story, not the end. It is a symptom that tells us that something deep inside needs tending, be it anger, fear, sadness, or more. And when we tend to ourselves and our deepest truths, we recover stronger and wiser. We no longer need to fear our emotions but can use them along with our logic and reason to meet life’s challenges in the direction of our deepest wants and needs.

Patient details have been changed to protect confidentiality.

For free resources on emotions, visit hilaryjacobshendel.com


References:
Fosha, D. (2000). The Transforming Power of Affect: A Model for Accelerated Change. New York: Basic Books

Fosha, D., Siegel, D., Solomon, M. (2009). The Healing Power of Emotion: Affective Neuroscience, Development & Clinical Practice (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology). New York: W.W. Norton

Hendel, H.J. (2018). It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self. New York: Spiegel & Grau
Originally appeared on: Psychology Today
Republished with permission
When Depression Is a Symptom of Buried Anger pin
When Depression Is a Symptom of Buried Anger: Here's How To Heal It
When Depression Is a Symptom pin
When Depression Is a Symptom of Buried Anger: Here's How To Heal It
Pages: 1 2
nv-author-image

Hilary Jacobs Hendel

Hilary is the author of the award-winning book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House & Penguin UK, 2018). She received her BA in biochemistry from Wesleyan University and an MSW from Fordham University. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, Time, NBC, FIX, Oprah, and her blog is read worldwide.View Author posts