Fear of shame causes needless anxiety. It’s not a good reason to delay, because we can overcome shame. If we’re in denial because of guilt, we can forgive ourselves and make amends to others. This builds self-esteem.
- Become more mindful through meditating and journaling.
- When you have a knee-jerk reaction to opposing views, take a breath. You don’t have to agree but listen to alternative opinions and interpretations of facts. Look at all the facts.
- Challenge your underlying assumptions. Where do your beliefs come from? Are they helpful? Might reasonable people disagree?
- Are you having wishful thinking about a problem when the facts prove otherwise?
- Do you excuse, rationalize, or minimize a problem or conceal it from others? (Take the quiz in Codependency for Dummies.)
- Don’t bury problems, and assume no one notices. Instead, be willing to initiate difficult conversations about uncomfortable subjects.
- Take constructive action to reduce worry and stress.
- Don’t procrastinate. Talk to a professional about your concerns.
©Darlene Lancer 2018
Written by Darlene Lancer JD, MFT
Republished with permission.