“If you are not already a happy person, don’t count on marriage to transform you into one. If you are already happy, don’t expect marriage to make you even happier … finally, if you are single and happy, do not fret that you will descend into despair if you dare to stay single. That’s not likely either.”
Want to know more about why single-shaming is unnecessary and wrong? Read Women Who Remain Single For A Long Time End Up Being The Happiest
A New Narrative
We need a new cultural narrative in which one’s worth is de-coupled from one’s relationship status. When biased policies that alienate singles become obsolete, when marriage is no longer fetishized and touted as the be-all and end-all, and when women can stop equating their worth with their marital status, we will have truly progressed.
What if, rather than obsessing on the single goal of partnering, we set a new goal: cultivating self-compassion and self-acceptance? What if we made a commitment to ourselves, to live our best lives, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, and most importantly, with a partner or without?
DePaulo, B. (2006). Singled out: How singles are stereotyped, stigmatized, and ignored, and still live happily ever after. St Martin’s Press.
Traister, R. (2016). All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation, Simon Schuster.
If you have ever been on the other side of single-shaming, then don’t let that get to you. People who think that marriage is the ultimate goal and your life is incomplete without it, you don’t need to dignify them with a response. Keep working on yourself and love yourself every single day. Whether you want to get married or not is ultimately up to you, and never let anyone tell you otherwise.
If you want to know more about single-shaming, then check this video out below: