48 Deep Conversation Starters To Know Someone Better


We are mostly carrying unhealthy definitions of love from childhood fairy tales and Hollywood flicks.

The most common misconception propositioned by Hollywood flicks and childhood fairy tales about love is the notion that dependency is love.

In the romantic love ideal propositioned in these fairy tales, the delicate balance between intimacy and interdependence is lost and love borders on the psychological condition of codependency.

If we really want to forge a deep, authentic and intimate connection with someone, we have to be willing to have deeper conversations. This will help us find out if we are on the same page with the other person as far as our definition of love is concerned.

Here is a list of questions that can help you to understand someone’s definition of love better:

  1. Does being in love mean being independent, codependent or interdependent for you?
  2. Is love only a bio chemical response to specific set of stimuli?
  3. Is love a choice or a feeling?
  4. Do opposites attract or are like minded people more compatible in relationships?
  5. If you have to rank in order of preference: physical attraction, emotional compatibility, intellectual compatibility and lifestyle compatibility? What would be your order of preference?
  6. Should you change yourself for someone you love?
  7. Can you love more than one person at the same time?
  8.  Is it important to be best friends with your romantic partner?
  9. What is the most thoughtful gift that you have ever received or given?
  10. What’s your take on the forever and happily ever after?
  11. What’s the craziest thing you would do for someone you love?
  12. What is your love language? How do you express love and how do you want your romantic partner to express love to you?
  13. When you are feeling low, do you prefer to be left alone or would you like someone to cheer you up?
  14. When was your last relationship and how long did it last?
  15. Why do you think your past relationship ended? What did your past relationship teach you?
  16. Do you usually remain friends with your exes?
  17. Do you believe in a thing as soulmate, twin flames or kindred spirit?


3. Topic – Psychology

Psychology is the study of the human mind and behaviour.

It includes the study of the conscious, unconscious mind and thoughts, feelings that lead to specific behaviors and traits that distinguish one person from the other.

Here is a list of interesting questions that can help you to understand how someone’s brain is wired and why they do what they do:

  1. Nature or nurture-Which one do you think plays a bigger role in shaping one’s personality?
  2. Does happiness lie in the journey or the destination?
  3. What is your most vivid memory from your childhood?
  4. What are your three biggest fears?
  5. What are you three biggest achievements?
  6. Who is your personal hero and what do you admire most about them?
  7. Do you like to spend time alone or in groups?
  8. Do you like to explore new things or do you like to follow routine?
  9. What do you think about when you’re by yourself?
  10. What’s the most spontaneous thing that you have done in life?
  11. What’s the biggest risk that you have taken in life?
  12. What is the darkest thought you’ve had and what is the darkest thing you’ve never shared with anybody?
  13. What makes you feel anxious or overwhelmed?
  14. What place or activity makes you feel calm and serene?
  15. Which is your favorite book, quote or poem and why do you relate to it? Which is the book or movie track or scene that brought out the most emotions in you?
  16. Is home for you a place or a feeling? Describe that place or feeling?
  17. Out of the entire range of negative emotions of anger, jealousy and insecurity and greed, which one affects you, the most?
  18. Out of the entire range of positive emotions like love and compassion, calmness, enthusiasm, which one is your biggest asset?
  19. What trait do you admire the most in others and what trait you cannot totally stand?
  20. If you had to describe yourself without mentioning your looks, profession or past, how would you describe yourself?
  21. Do you usually go with your gut instincts or your brain?
  22. What’s your biggest goal in life right now and what are your goals for next five years?