4. Get comfortable with “not knowing” about aspects of your children’s lives.
Your children are changing; there is stuff you have to ask now that you just knew before. Just as you once knew what they ate for every meal when they were very young and that fell away in their teen years when they’d eat at friends or have meals away, now there will be things they do and ways they change that might feel jolting.
Perhaps your child will come home and talk about a weekend getaway that you had no idea they’d even taken. Or you’ll watch your daughter, who’d always hated tomatoes, toss them casually into her dinner salad. Maybe your son who loved his long rock-and-roll hair will inform you on the phone he’s chopped it all off.
While these changes may surprise and even sadden us, because they’re tangible reminders of what is no longer, it’s a healthy adaptation on their part. And it can bring its own sense of pride.
5. Grieve when you need to.
I used to always wonder why my Dad always had music on when I came home.
Now I know.
It fills up the quiet. Kids leave and suddenly, the house is…still. Unearthly quiet. You actually physically feel it…that absence of laughter, footsteps, the refrigerator opening, and closing. So grieve when you need to. But don’t allow that grief to overwhelm you so much that you can only see the loss. If you get stuck in grief, then see a therapist for help or talk to your family doctor.
You’ll miss the opportunities of the moment you’re in if you’re looking over your shoulder at the past.
Written By Dr. Margaret Rutherford Originally Appeared In Dr. Margaret Rutherford
These tips will hugely help you if you are looking to deal with an empty nest. It might not be easy initially, but the more you try, the better you will get at this. At the end of the say, you deserve to be happy and content with your own life too.