But when you take an honest (and I mean a SERIOUSLY honest) look at what the driving force for doing all those things was: What do you feel?
Most likely, it’s fear. Fear of them leaving you. Fear of getting in a fight. Fear of not being good enough that you have to constantly be proving yourself day in and day out. Fear can be a powerful force that keeps us in the wrong relationships for so long, and yet we hardly even know it’s driving us.
When you uncover the motivation behind every instance or decision you make, you will become conscious of your patterns, and your fear. And it’s from that powerful space within you that you can start letting go of the people, experiences, situations that don’t serve you.
And with time, patience, and a whole lot of self-love (because Rome wasn’t built in a day), you’ll slowly and brilliantly begin to get more and more and more conscious with each day. You’ll stop ignoring the red flags and start counting the green ones. You’ll begin to feel emotionally safe within yourself.
You’ll start watching how your new partners do things for you that your ex would always respond with excuses as to why not to do it. You’ll feel lighter, more joyful. More you.
That is what it means to become conscious. To be free to be yourself, and to find someone who loves you not for what you do or how much you say yes, but because you’re you. Period.
What’s One Or Two Things That Fundamentally Changed Once You Met Your Fiance?
I stopped being afraid of sharing what was on my mind, good or bad. I stopped trying to look or be a certain way and gave myself permission to have a partner who could accept me as I was, without the fear of them leaving. In this process of becoming conscious I learned how much I had been depriving myself AND the people I dated of the real me.
But when I met my fiance in 2018, it was right in the midst of my inner work, and I knew I had everything to gain by just being myself and allowing my Truth to speak for itself. If I had one single mission in my life as a conscious breakup coach, it’s to allow others to experience this freedom.
I hope this Q&A on conscious relationships has given you the feels it’s giving me right now. I can feel the energy as I type this. Just by reading this, you’re stepping into alignment with who you truly are; it’s an incredibly empowering place to be when you’re healing through your breakup.
Written By Nancy Ruth Deen Originally Appeared On Hello Breakup