Hence, you can drastically change your reactions and behaviors based on the responses of your child. By becoming a conscious parent, you shift your focus to your inner experience as a parent and use this feeling to understand how closely you are connected to your child and yourself.
But modern parenting styles does not follow this philosophy. It is primarily based on punitive methods that focus on controlling and correcting the child. As we believe we know what is best for our children, we put our maximum effort into shaping and moulding them into what we believe is good for them. This includes punishments, bribes, rules, disciplining and even shouting when the need be.
Conscious Parenting takes a different approach to raising children. Instead of treating children like feeble individuals who need to be told everything, a conscious parent focuses on developing a nurturing environment, where the child is empowered to be themselves and reach their own conclusions about life and themselves. They are enabled to take the best decisions about who they want to be and how they want to live their lives. Conscious Parenting is about letting your child be and accepting them as they are instead of trying to ‘fix’ them. It is about realizing that our children are as important for our emotional, mental and spiritual development as we are to them.
The urgent need for Conscious Parents
“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
One of the most important things we need to realize as parents is that we do not own our children. Our children can teach us a lot more about ourselves than what we can teach them. Conscious parenting allows us to build a pure and genuine relationship with our inner selves which empowers us to develop a conscious bond with our child. When we try to shape our sons and daughters according to our wishes, we deny them the opportunity to be who they want to be. When you deny your child the right to be their own self, they fail to accept their authentic selves. As they grow up to be adults, they become detached from their emotions as they live their lives based on their parents’ and others’ expectations. And as your child becomes a parent, this vicious cycle begins again.
The secret to building an authentic relationship with your child that is based on understanding, empathy and compassion is to first nurture the relationship you have with your inner self. This will allow you to be the best version of yourself and enable your child to be who they truly are. It is only by accepting your children as who they are inside, you can find happiness within yourself and with your children. And this can happen only by becoming more aware and mindful. This enables us to finally learn how to challenge our self-limiting beliefs regarding being a parent and life.
By practicing empathy, compassion and unconditional love, we not only heal what hurts us inside, we also open our hearts to celebrate the uniqueness of our children, allowing them to thrive by being their most authentic selves. Only by teaching our children how to love themselves, love their unique talents and their flaws, we can help them become happy, successful, independent and confident individuals as they grow up.
When your child learns that they are free to be whoever they want to be without hurting or disappointing his or her parents, they can become loving and compassionate adults. Adults who accept themselves, their complex emotions and flaws as well as the flaws of others.
How to be a Conscious Parent
“Children aren’t ours to possess or own in any way. When we know this in the depths of our soul, we tailor our raising of them to their needs, rather than molding them to fit our needs.” – Shefali Tsabary, The Conscious Parent
Conscious parenting is about allowing your children to grow up in a way that will allow them to understand who they are and live their lives in a confident and independent way.