So we continue to prioritize masculine concepts of relationship success, and our “crisis of connection” deepens.
I’ve worked with many functioning couples, who even had gorgeous homes and great wealth, who nonetheless lived together in relative misery, sometimes quietly, sometimes painfully out loud.
Such was the case with Stan and Sonya, the couple I hosted for this private weekend intensive. (*not their real names)
When a man initiates couples coaching with me, it’s almost always because his partner finally made it unmistakably clear she’s done, if she hasn’t already walked out. When Stan reached out to me, they were already beyond the edge of collapse, already living apart.
Nonetheless, they both showed up. For 2 solid days, we worked on connection practices, like how to first create real connection in communication before seeking agreement or even intellectual understanding on long-standing contentious issues.
We explored healthy boundaries, because boundaries create safety and safety between two people – not just physical, but mental and emotional safety, too – is absolutely essential for creating a healthy connection. If you don’t feel safe with your partner, you can’t let your guard down and be authentically vulnerable, which means the authentic connection isn’t possible.
As the weekend wore on, Stan and Sonya experienced how simple connection practices can literally compel their bodies to come closer together on the couch, and how acting blindly out old patterns of behaviors that create disconnection would immediately send them flying to opposite ends of the room.
It’s simple, really. But not easy. For it often requires breaking decades-old unskillful patterns and shifting entrenched limiting beliefs to more open-hearted ways of thinking, seeing, and being.
But this is why I love working with couples (particularly weekend intensives, where we can really practice embodiment).
Intimate relationships are the transformational fires within which all our old wounds and fear-based beliefs will surface so they may finally be witnessed and healed.
Fortunately, we don’t necessarily need years of therapy to create exquisite moments connection with each other.
After all, we just want to be happy in the moment, with a harmonious, peaceful relationship that lights up our every day life rather than darkens it.
That’s what becomes possible when you learn how to create connection first. In fact, you can get through anything that arises on this wild human journey when you know how to quickly create connection with your partner. Seriously … ANYTHING.
I’ve personally worked with some of the most painfully strained, broken down couples who became long-term success stories because they learned how to overcome their own “crisis of connection.”
As for Stan and Sonya, their journey continues since we wrapped up our weekend. I can’t know for sure whether they’ll stay together long-term. After all, years of painful momentum have brought them to this crisis point.
But this I know with certainty:Creating profound connection requires only the willingness – and the courage – to never stop exploring your partner’s authentic heart.
“Get 7 Enlightening Videos (Free) to Better Understand Your Partner @ https://bryanreeves.com/7videos/“