2. We’re Not Loved For Who We Truly Are
When we don’t communicate with our spouse or partner we don’t show who we truly are. And when we hide certain parts of ourselves, we don’t get to experience being loved for our wholeness.
The only sides of ourselves that are showered with love and affection are the “good” ones. The sides of ourselves that we believe make us lovable.
This leads to us keeping our innermost feelings to ourselves and the experience of love is kind of cut in half.
We distance ourselves from our partners, whether we want to be or not, and we lose the intimacy we once shared.
Are you having trouble communicating with your partner? Read 12 Important Life Hacks To Improve Communication In Your Relationships
3. What Happens When We Communicate
Communication can be many things – a means to a boring end; like getting your partner to do the dishes, a way of establishing boundaries; like telling your spouse you need space, or, or, put simply; a way of creating intimacy.
– What Sexual Communication Is
Sex isn’t usually viewed as a way of keeping communication in the relationship alive. But sex kind of is communication.
Whether it be purely bodily communication or a mixture of the physical and conversational – having sex is letting one another know how much we enjoy them.
It’s telling our partner we find them attractive, sexy, interesting, lovable – comforting.
But sexual communication isn’t only the act in itself, it’s also the conversation about sex.
Talking about sex can be difficult. It can feel embarrassing and awkward, but if we’re willing to accept those feelings, over time, the conversation can turn into an incredibly intimate experience.
By talking about our likes and dislikes, our fantasies and needs, we’re creating and sustaining intimacy again and again.
If you find it tricky talking about sex (most of us do!), you can read more in this blog post about communication and relationships and how to talk to your partner about sex.
– What Non-sexual Communication Is
Communicating on a day to day basis is fundamental to our relationship.
When we communicate we’re bonding with our partner. We’re sharing our thoughts, feelings, and needs.
We’re letting them know about our fears and hopes, and – perhaps most importantly – we’re sharing the parts of ourselves we let few others see.
The parts we fear people will find annoying.
The parts we secretly dislike.
The parts we’re deeply ashamed of.
When the lines of communication are open in our relationship, we’re constantly creating and sustaining intimacy, because communication is intimacy.
In order to keep our intimate connection going through the good times and the bad times, we need to keep communication in the relationship going – both sexually and non-sexually.
When we do this we don’t run the risk of our brains thinking we’re going to die, of our relationships going stale and boring, or of not being loved for who we truly are. By communicating we’re creating and sustaining intimacy. And in the end – intimacy is what relationships are all about.
If you want to know more about how communication is vital for sustained intimacy, then check out this video below:
Leigh Norén is a sex therapist and writer with a Master of Science in Sexology. She’s been featured in Thrive Global, The Good Men Project, Babe, The Tab, Glamour, Sexography, The Minds Journal and more. For more advice on communication, visit her website. For a happier relationship and better sex life, download her free resources.
This article was originally published at https://www.therapybyleigh.com/human-sexuality-blog/3-reasons-communication-in-the-relationship-is-crucial-to-sustained-intimacy