Note: Vulnerable communication is not the answer to all of your problems. If you have a low self-esteem, vulnerability can drastically boost your self-esteem and decrease neediness. But if you continue to suppress yourself and see yourself as unworthy due to bad belief systems then you’ll struggle even in healthy relationships.
Individuals “who are troubled by low self-esteem might project their self-doubts onto their partners, leaving them uncertain of the constancy of their partners’ affections. As a result, occasional self-doubts or personal failures might turn into relationship insecurities.” 2
As Brene Brown highlights, true belonging in relationships only happens when we share our authentic, imperfect, and vulnerable self to our partner. The paradox is belonging can never be more than accepting yourself. When you accept yourself, you bravely ask for what you need and want. And that courage deepens your relationships with your partner and yourself.
If you want to transform conflict into material to build a stronger and more connected relationship then read Kyle Benson’s conflict blueprints here.
- Book: Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel and Wantby Nocholas Epley (2014) Pg. 183 ↩
- Murray, S.L., Holmes, J., MacDonald, Ellsworth P., (1998) “Through the Looking Glass Darkly? When Self-Doubts Turn Into Relationship Insecurities. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol.75, No.6, 1459-1480. ↩
Written by Kyle Benson
Originally appeared in Kyle Benson
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