commandments of resilience

While avoiding uncertainty is adaptive in that it keeps you safe and sound, the safe cocoon your brain constructs can be a virtual prison. The same assumptions that keep you safe can prevent you from growing, taking necessary risks, and reaching your dreams.

The most powerful antidote against career uncertainty is your perspective, which can victimize or empower you. When you figure out what you can control and what you can’t, it’s easier to develop uncertainty tolerance and accept whatever is beyond your control, and learn to live with “maybe.”

9. Thou Shalt Retain A Winning Frame Of Mind.

A winning frame of mind contains a growth mindset—the belief that defeat happens for you, not to you. If you have a growth mindset, you consider success and failure a package deal—like a hand and glove, milk and cookies, flip sides of the same coin—twins, not enemies.

It’s an understanding that avoidance of failure morphs into avoidance of success. It’s a realization that in order to attain what you want, you must be willing to accept what you don’t want.

Instead of giving up, you welcome obstacles, setbacks, and disappointments—no matter how painful, frustrating, big or small—as opportunities to grow and learn instead of as defeat.

You think of defeat as a personal trainer, and you control your happiness like baseball great Babe Ruth, arguably one of the best baseball players of all time, whose winning frame of mind was contained in his famous quote, “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” If you use Ruth’s wisdom in any pursuit, “failure” can never bring your aspirations to a screeching halt.

Related: 8 Ways To Cultivate Resilience In Yourself During Tough Times

10. Thou Shalt Take Time Out To Acknowledge Realized Goals.

It’s important to take breathers and come up for air. Throw modesty out the window, and savor the excitement of your accomplishments. Remember why you chose this life you’re living in the first place—your ambitions, dreams, and goals. Your love for what you do.

Make sure you celebrate the milestones on your life trajectory: each promotion, successful deadline, and every accolade from the top down. Before moving on to the next item on your agenda, relish each success every step of the way.


Written By Bryan E. Robinson  
Originally Appeared In Psychology Today

These commandments of resilience can help you tremendously when it comes to truly winning in life. These commandments of resilience will help you know yourself and push you to draw from your inner strength and be a winner. Resilience itself can go a long way in helping you reach all your goals and achieve everything that you have ever wanted to.

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The 10 Commandments Of Resilience
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The 10 Commandments Of Resilience
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Bryan E. Robinson, Ph.D

Bryan E. Robinson, Ph.D., is a journalist, author, psychotherapist, and Professor Emeritus at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. He has authored 42 books including his latest, #Chill: Turn Off Your Job And Turn On Your Life (William Morrow, 2019) and Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians who Treat Them (New York University Press, 2014), and Daily Writing Resilience (Llewellyn Worldwide, 2018). He is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a licensed mental health clinician. He maintains a private clinical practice in Asheville, NC, and writes for Forbes, Psychology Today, and Thrive Global. You can reach him at bryanrobinsononline.com.View Author posts