Accepting the inevitability of these feelings, without mistaking them for indicators that we are just not meant to be, enables us to maintain a healthy relationship and resist the temptation to jump to conclusions or make impulsive judgments and decisions based on insufficient information.
Not all relationships are meant to be, and some should be ended when it becomes evident that there’s a mismatch. Yet many potentially successful relationships are ended before they are given an adequate chance. It may be that it’s only after sharing ordeals and spending time together—time that includes doing the work of learning to appreciate rather than condemn our differences—that we recognize the hidden gifts our partner brings to us, which may have initially shown up as problems to be eliminated.
By all means, hold on to your list, but don’t forget that your heart has another list that may not be quite as apparent to you.
To quote Antoine de Saint-Exupéry,
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
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Written by Linda and Charlie Bloom
Originally appeared in Psychologytoday
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