Changing perspectives in a marriage begins with gaining new experiences, great communication, and a positive attitude that supports emotional and intellectual intimacy.
Taking the time to improve your persona is an investment in the longevity of your marriage. “It is not what you say, but how you say it.” –Unknown.
Be willing to see things differently by opening yourself to different experiences. Different experiences will breed fresh perspectives into your life. There are many ways to do this. For example, experience different cultures from around the world by viewing vacation websites and videos. See how others live differently than you. Take a course that involves talking to others to learn a new language. There are language cafes that allow you to practice with native speakers. Take up a hobby and join its association or local meetup group. Learn to cook different dishes and invite others over for conversation.
Be willing to allow yourself to get out of your comfort zone and experience different relationships in controlled and appropriate environments because we grow through our relationships. In other words, we learn from each other because we are creatures of habit. Remember, if you and your spouse are going to think alike all the time, then one of you is not necessary. Explore your horizons, have fun, and keep it interesting.
Examine your belief system, is it based on hope? If it is not, then you are a dream killer and control freak. Don’t kill your partner’s dreams. It may be all they are left with. Do you allow your spouse to pipe dream without analyzing everything? Be willing to just listen. Dream with them. The great part about it is they will listen to your dreams without judging you. If either of you actually decides to bring a dream into reality, then your planning will start. Just breathe and rest in the arms of your lover being assured that everything does not need fixing, analyzing, or supervising.
Do you have to win every argument? Having a conversation involves participation from both parties. A monologue (one person) is not a dialogue (two or more person conversation). Having the need to be right all the time will make your partner feel unnecessary and that is not how you want them to feel. We like to be around people who make us feel good about ourselves. Have a willingness to learn from your partner or spouse. Your spouse has something to offer– allow them to tell you about it. Try listening to positive music or meditate in order to change your need to be right all the time.
Change your talk and your attitude will follow. Attitude does not make a change, your talk does. What comes out the mouth, is what is in the heart. Be careful of what you say and the tone you use because it is what others hear from you. Your tone can give the impression if you care or you are not serious or you have contempt for your spouse. Therefore, find positive affirmations to say every day. It’s ok to say the same ones over and over again. Especially, if you have a favorite. Many people turn to their faith to change their perspectives. Believing in something bigger than yourself will help you change your attitude, perspective, and eventually, your behavior which can enrich your marriage.
In conclusion, good communication, a positive attitude, and widened horizons will change your perspective or the way you perceive things. What you give out is what you attract. Are you attracting the best in your spouse? If not, be willing to listen, give in sometimes, get self-help or professional help. But most importantly dare to believe in each other to open doors in your relationship that can lead to infinite possibilities.