How You Can Change Your Emotional Habits

Emotional Habits

To apply TIP to your own undesirable habits, examine several instances of the habit and then:

  • Write down what you were thinking and feeling immediately before you did the undesired behavior.
  • Develop a repertoire of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are incompatible with the negative response you had immediately before the habit was activated.
  • Think of specific behaviors that will make you feel more valuable. (The bad habit was an attempt to make you feel temporarily more powerful, but resulted in more feelings of powerlessness in short order.) These will fall into one of four categories: improve, appreciate, connect, or protect.
  • Imagine doing the behaviors. For instance, “When I feel that way I have to (do something that will make me feel more valuable) ______________.”
  • Practice the behaviors every day for about six weeks (optimal time for building self-regulation habits).

With practice, your brain will automatically replace states of vulnerability like guilt, shame, or anxiety with more deeply empowering, solution-oriented states, which will allow you to act in ways that make you feel consistently more valuable.

Visit Dr. Steven Stosny’s website Compassion Power for many more interesting articles.


Written By Steven Stosny
Originally Appeared In Psychology Today

Being an emotional person is not a bad thing at all, but when certain emotional habits end up hurting your loved ones without any fault of theirs, then it is time for you to understand what is happening, and then work on it accordingly. Shifting your emotional habits from a negative place to a positive one is what you need to do.

Change Your Emotional Habits Pin
How You Can Change Your Emotional Habits
Emotional Habits Pin
How You Can Change Your Emotional Habits
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Steven Stosny

 Steven Stosny, Ph.D., is the founder of CompassionPower. His current book is Empowered Love, and his previous books include Soar Above: How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain Under Any Kind of Stress, Living and Loving after Betrayal, How to Improve your Marriage without Talking about It: Finding Love Beyond Words, Love without Hurt, The Powerful Self, and Treating Attachment Abuse. Dr. Stosny has treated over 6,000 clients for various forms of anger, abuse, and violence, and is also an advisor of the Prince Georges County Circuit and District courts on domestic violence. He has appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” “The Today Show,” “CBS Sunday Morning,” many CNN shows, and in the New York Times, Washington Post, U.S. News & World Report, WSJ, Esquire, Cosmopolitan, O, Psychology Today, USA Today. He has taught at the University of Maryland and at St. Mary’s College of Maryland. His blog on Psychologytoday.com has over 18 million views.View Author posts